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March 2008

03 May 2013 ="post-tag" > Written by  ="post-tag" >

Monday 31st March 2008-

2008-03-31Some men get excited by football. The French male gets excited by the smell of onions. For some its diving. And of course there is another thing that gets the male libido standing proud & I think in a weird & rather unsettling way I manged to rouse that feeling today when I informed the boys of what is happening tomorrow! You could quite literally see the musk of testosterone emanate from their pores & the shorts tighten up in the nether regions! We got 19 female bikini clad Swedish reps coming over for a day of snorkeling & brochure modelling tomorrow. That's why Dan, Ricky & Simon haven't been at work for the last few days- Brushing the hair & ironing the speedos are we boys?

I remember my Mum once telling me when I was about to leave the nest to never go to a Doctor whose plants have died! Its a pretty good philosophy & its stuck with me ever since! So when I went into the Koh Tao clinic the other day to get someone looked at I did hesitate when I saw the dead potplants & turned straight around & walked out when I saw a circle of about 6 nurses, all sitting on the ground with their back towards the person behind them while picking nits out of the hair of the person infront! Dead plants & nurses with nits! Not exactly Greys Anatomy the KT clinics!

Its another popular full day trip to the best dive site in the Gulf of Thailand today. Breakfast/ Lunch /Staff pantomime/ & 3 of the best dive sites in the Gulf of Thailand. There are schools of baracuda's, typhoons of trevally, moray eels, sting rays, sharks & of course the biggest fish in the sea, the whale shark! Very similar in fact to the types of wildlife I'm faced with everyday in the office...well schools of students & typhoons of Germans at least!

Sunday March 30th 2008

2008-03-30Got to give an enormous shout out to all of you who helped us yesterday in the Reef clean up organised by our very own Eco boy Darren. We had about 150 volunteers all turn up at Big Blue for the brief including Michael, the owner of Big Blue, Jonas, our Course Director, Hans , PADI Regional Director for Thailand, & Al, SSI Thailand Instructor Trainer. All with their marigolds on & ready to pick up trash. It was really quite a sight! I think there was over 70 divers & 30 snorkellors & kayakers ready to clean Sairee Beach up & the amount of rubbish.... well actually there was very little! A lot of straws & a lot of cigarette butts mostly. Other items of note where bottle tops & plastic bags but really that was pretty much about it! So good going everyone. Looks like we are learning how to tidy up after ourselves a little at last. Now if we could all just stop getting drunk we might remember to do it at night aswell!

And after a heavy day of picking up things it was time for the highlight of the Koh Tao Festival- the Koh Tao Festival! There was food, drinks, a Muay Thai fighting demonstration, Thai dancing, a photo competition, a raffle, & heaps of other little things. I think the Raffle was the biggest success with over 50000 Baht raised by the organisers- That would be Gary & his team at SSI Thailand! Kind of put PADI to shame really! Prizes in the raffle ranged from a free PADI Instructor Development Course, a Suunto Dive Computer, free dinner at most restaurants around KT, there was heaps of prizes. We gave a full length 5mm wetsuit & a free Dive Course! I also made an arse of myself on stage! That was also free!

And to do all this just at a time when we are so busy again! Not easy all this juggling people, courses, accommodation, instructors, DM's, boats, divesites. Good job I'm off in a couple of days, eh Darren! 

Saturday, March 29, 2008

2008-03-29If you've been here before, you know how hard it is to get away. People leave because they have to but very rarely with a smile on their face, sobbing as they get on a taxi, going into depression walking onto the boat and praying for mercy as they fly home. However, once a year some of us like to go home to our cold countries for a month to visit the family and the friends. Fair enough. But even that can be an endeavour! It seems that some of us just can't go. Our Welsh friend is a good example. Finally arrived in Chumphon the other night, ready to hop on the train to Bangkok and catch a plane home, Deano realised he'd forgotten his ticket ! Compelled to buy a later ticket -1st class please- our sheep lover washed his mistake away with a few more Singhas. After 45 hours of travelling and wandering, he eventually made it home to surprise his mum. Well done and say hi to the family for us!

The Festival is on today, I can see Darren preparing the banners for the clean-up already. Not easy on such a hot day, everybody is sweating their tits off and we just got up! I mean, we can't really complain about the gorgeous sun while others are trying to beat traffic on their way to work in the rain if not the snow. But still, I would rather be diving than sitting outside in this unbearable heat. You know what would be great when it's this hot? If we had a party all day long on the beach where people could just throw water at each other to cool off. Oops, that's for the next big festival, Songkran, in two weeks time. Be there or be square!

More news on Canada's two wheeler mishap: he’s gone to get checked out in Samui today. It turns out he might have to go on four wheels from now on, the bad knee keeping him off bikes for a while. Well, Mr Thornton-Allan, if you ever have to ride a quad bike on the Rock, make sure you wear one of Rick’s famous “ATVs SUCK!” t-shirts if you don’t want to be mistaken for a tourist. But the true question is, will Yvonne agree to seen on the back of one of Koh Tao’s most shameful means of transportation?

Friday, March 28, 2008

2008-03-28Looks like Canada's had it easy while Yvonne was away. Don't know if it's the pressure from her being back but it seems as he lost some of his abilities. Riding a bike for instance. Another member for the Koh Tao injuries clinic!Today, he's walking with wooden crutches on each side of his body, a bandage on his knee and one on his foot. Slows you down a bit doesn't it ? But Yvonne won't take it and she's still screaming "come schatzi, faster, faster, let's go now!". Poor Canada's gonna have to ask for a few tips from our one legged captain Peak cos so far, he can't keep up the pace!

Tomorrow is our annual Koh Tao festival. This year, it will focus on protecting the environment and keeping our paradise clean. Eco-warrior Darren has once again raised an army of eco-soldiers to pick up the rubbish on our reefs. If you think the amount of beer left after a football night in an English pub is impressive, wait till you see how many Chang bottles the eco-army will pick up tomorrow. And that's just after a normal night for the boat crews mooring there everyday. And Sorry Jim, but the bottles are empty!

And after the hard eco-fight comes even more fun! Once again, the whole island is going to congregate to the festival ground for a great night of live music, dance shows, great food stands and maybe a few drinks... This year, the party's in Sairee. Close to Big Blue. Nice one! And there should be a few competitions. Unfortunately, our Welsh dragon will not be there to defend his title as Koh Tao's fastest chugger. Will Ally retain her title? Come down and see for yourself or find out on this webpage on Sunday!

Thursday 27th March 2008-

2008-03-27Well, you'll know better next time. Thats what my mom always used to say when I got sunburned. All these years later, I STILL havent learned that lesson. We instructors fight over who gets to staff the weekly 'Full Day Trip'. Its the only day of the week we can dive on Sail Rock, and we get a buffet of incredible thai food for lunch, and spend the long surface intervals hanging out on the top of the boat... in the scorching sun. Then we come back red and burnt, scratching our heads wondering how this happened. But it happens every time and we never learn. Don't tell our moms.

A big welcome back to Simon who's returned from Big Blue Khao Lak. He's been away for just 3 months, but already he's forgotten what time the ferries arrive and how to complete a check-in form. Luckily, G was more than happy to hold an impromptu refresher course for him this morning.

And Big Blue is now crawling with DiveMaster trainees. We've signed up 4 more in the past 48 hours for a total of 17!! And this current bunch seems wilder than the average DMT crew. The Instructors and staff DMs are fortifying their bunkers, fearing that the DMTs are planning a hostile takeover of the dive shop as they now far outnumber us.

Wednesday 26th 2008-

2008-03-26Its actually a little spooky! Yvonne has been away for the best part of a month & gets back today. Canada he's sooo o excited! About as excited as a 16 year old Swedish schoolboy! He's booked himself 4 days off, no one is allowed to call him & he is planning on spending the next 4 days alone with his Missus. Just the 2 of them. See what I mean by spooky! Poor Yvonne! 4 days alone with Canada confined to the bedroom. No means of communication with the outside world. No contact. No other companionship. Just 1 painted Canadian with the horn!

There's a rumour going around that Koh Tao is about to be graced by the presence of Royalty! Which Royal & from what country I have no idea! The last time I remember Royalty coming to Koh Tao was when Matt Le Blanc came here with about 20 of his mates for a snorkelling trip from Samui. He spent the whole way here throwing up on a speedboat. Then he was the only western guy in Mango Bay snorkelling with a life jacket on. He looked a right Gallah! Royal Ponce! And your Friends! (Except Jennifer- poor lost darling).

So, the Boy from the Valleys is returning home today for a wee break. Off to plunder the coal mines & make a few sheep nervous. I bet he's down the pub right now! Pint in one hand, 2 litre bottle of lemonade in the other! Rocking backwards & forwards to the tunes of the Welsh Boyo's Choir. Have a happy holiday Deano & don't forget to regale us with humourous Taffy anecdotes when ever you get time.

Monday March 24th 2008-

2008-03-24Cheers Scobby. That was a very entertaining evening & you were made to look a right plonker! Good going mate! Mind you not the only one me thinks! Who was that tall dark stranger that just got so carried away with the silly sauce that they were still at it at 4 in the morning when everyone else had gone home & they stumbled down to Bans Bar got even more sozzled fell over & then called in to work to say they got too big a hangover today & won't be in till tomorrow! Who could possibly get away with such preposterous behaviour?!

My most sincere chocolatey apologies people for not wishing you a Happy Easter yesterday. Happy Easter Danielle- nice to hear from you! I didn't even realise it was the Good Lords chocolate day yesterday! Its hard when you live on a tropical island just north of the equator with no Tesco or Sainsbury's to remind you to bite the heads off chocolate bunnies! Hope you all stuffed your faces! Who got the Easter egg with chocolate buttons? It's my favourite!

Why is it when people come back from diving & they have water in their ear canal they insist on leaning their head over to one side & then jumping up & down on one leg! It looks like some sort of Monty Python sketch. I have actually never tried it so I thought I'd give it a go the other day & see what happens! I was amazed by the results! I leant. I lept. & water gushed out of my nose! It was really quite unpleasant & my ear still had water in it. So I went back to my normal miracle method for clearing water from the ears. One large Chang please!

Sunday March 23rd 2008-

2008-03-23I knew today was going to be a good day but it also felt like something was missing last week & when I came into work I realised what it was. Mayhem & Destruction, Canadian Style! Canada & Mac are back from their Liveaboard cruise in the wake of the 2nd WW submarine the USS Hammerhead! & the first thing I was greeted with when I got into work today was the acid bath Canada had made for all the artifacts he has salvaged on their trip! Its actually a very impressive haul. He has china & glass with Japanese imprints from maybe 100 years ago. A really cool & original Kirin Beer bottle. He's lifted up the compass plate & housing, a porthole & a couple of ammunition shells one of which he has given me! Sitting on my desk right now. This time last week it had spent since 1945 sitting on the bottom of the sea & now its sitting here on my desk as a nice pen holder! Nice one boys. Really cool! Now that people is diving!

Coming to the end of an era here at Big Blue today. We are going to have a leaving do for Scobby tonight. He was just a boy when he first got to Koh Tao, but he'll be leaving as a man, though that long hair does confuse people! He's off to tie the knot with his former Open Water Student Jolien, in Holland & then they are off to that god forsaken country just north west of New Zealand where they have all those dangerous animals, drunken yobbos & silly long blonde hair.Think Scobby has probably taught more students than anyone at Big Blue & he's finally gonna call it a day. Off to settle down in coastal Scobbytown live like a retired Scuba Instructor while the Missus goes out & makes the cash! Sigh! Can't wait till I retire! Good luck Scobby & Jolien & here's to all the memories.

Well the Bar is looking really cool now! The boys have kind of built this entrance off the beach with like a big sort of entry gateway thing. Its looks very cool. And it looks like the names been changed back to the Blue Bar & they've painted everything blue now aswell. I like it! And it looks different to everyone else on the beach & it is obviously working cos the bar & restaurant now are packed every night! Good job Big Blues Blue Bar boys. I knew today was going to be a good day!

Saturday March 22nd 2008-

2008-03-22You may recall me mentioning the other day about Whalesharks! I said the crap viz was the beginning of Whale Shark season. Well lo & behold... They're here! & this particular Whale shark is the largest one I have ever heard of around Koh Tao! First reports are its a 7 meter one. Imagine taking a swim in the ocean & coming face to face with a 7 meter fish like that! In Thai its called a pla shalarm. Reckon that's cos the first Thai to see one underwater "Pla Shalarmed ' themselves!

A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle. For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.
However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside!

Felt like we had a very successful meeting with heaps of KT Dive shops the other night with regards to the Koh Tao Festival which is being held here in Sairee on the 29th March. Nice to see so many shops who care about the state of Koh Tao & are prepared to do something to manage the problems we face here on this little tropical island paradise. At the same time equally distressing to see so many of the 'Big' diveshops lack of interest or attendance! The smaller shops were all there in force, but some of the big ones were noticeably absent! Shame on you! I only got 1 word for you guys...'Improve!'

Thursday March 20th 2008-

2008-03-20I wonder where Canada & Mac are right now! I'm still jealous as hell! Being a big war buff, second world war wrecks fascinate me. & here these guys are following in the footsteps of a real warship wreaking havoc on all the ships it came upon. & what a great name for a war ship too. The Hammerhead! Wicked. I bet its a very emotional experience. I once dived off the beach at Normandy where the D-Day landings took place! That was an emotional experience for sure! Meanwhile weather at the moment is gorgeous aswell so I bet these guys are just having such a wonderful time eating, sleeping, diving, decompressing & telling stories all night. Knowing Canada I reckon it sounds like kids at school camp!

So the revellers are once more on their way to Koh Phangan to bey at the moon or whatever it is party people do at this time of the month. I beyed back at the millenium party but never went back to bey again! It wasn't like I didn't have a great night cos I did! I beyed like it was 1999. But I guess my old man gene has been kicking in since then & now when its Full Moon Party time I prefer to bey at the moon in my slippers & my dressing gown! Happy beying Party people!

There are heaps of things one really must do when they get to Koh Tao. Need less to say 1 of them is scuba diving. Another top activity is snorkeling. Then there's hiking over to the other side of the island, there's yoga, paintball, mini golf & an extremely original ten pin bowling lane. All of these things are great & you are highly encouraged to do them all while you holiday here in Koh Tao! But there a couple of things that tourists do which are also on offer here & are bad. Very bad. Don't jetski & don't drive quad bikes! You're all dangerous! None of us appreciate the noise you make, the hazards you create & the damage you cause! If you want to do all that crap then pardon mon francais mais ' Burger orf back to Samui! Vous aint wanted here!

Wednesday March 19th-

2008-03-19The French are credited with many great inventions, such as the bicycle, pasteurization, the barometer and, more recently, the 36-hour work week, but one cultural contribution that rarely makes it into the history books is sunbathing au naturel. G Does it all the time! Of course, the French were not the first people to frolic on the beach in a state of semi-undress--the Polynesians after all have been doing it for millennia. But what G & Celine did amongst others, was popularize it, to make it, as they make so many things... chic.

Jim came back from another one of his Samui runs yesterday. Sadly, he lost his phone in Samui and was so busy he didn't have time to go for his traditionnal happy meal at McDonald's in Chaweng. They are still thinking about renaming the place McDonaldson's as he remains one of the top customers. Nevertheless, he came back with a very big smile on his face, pleased to see that all the people on the Lomprayah who had bookings for diving had done them through the Big Blue website. The purpose of the trip was to prepare for the Big Day of his life. This time he managed to find a wedding dress and wedding rings! Geat going Jim, but what are you gonna wear? I'm not sure zunami boardies are suitable for mariages. Not to mention, it might not be so warm in April in the land of sheep and kiwis! Thought about getting a neoprene tux?

Tonight Big Blue will a count a new member in the long list of trained Divemasters. After 5 weeks of hard work, Mathias will decome a dive professional. Of course, that means we are going to have a challenge. It's all been kept secret so far but no doubt that our underwater Bavarian will remember this event, or not! Mathias was the one DMT to push the mentor/protege relationship between him and Darren to it's climax. He actually got himself Darren's world famous right leg "Hok Tao Diver" tatoo on the left leg. Had he got it on the right leg, we wouldn't be able to tell them apart. Ally, you can thank the tatoo artist for that! What's next? Mac and Tim, you have a long way to go before you can match the tatoos on Canada's body, hope that doesn't delay your certification!

Sunday 16th March 2008-

2008-03-16Had our first charter trip of the year today with a group of Scandy agents all hear to actually assesswhat all the fuss is about Koh Tao. You could see their look of scepticism as they got off the lomprayah & were greeted with the usual throng of Koh Tao taxi drivers. Then we stopped for a spot of breakfast at Koh Tao's leading breakfastry which is Zest & after a good feed & a nice chin wag you could see these guys beginning to let their hair down a little. & they then obviosly had a great time on their snorkelling adventure because by the time they came back they all looked thrilled! Kind of like they sat on something pointy! Very happy customers- good work Anna & Ross. & its beer o'clock now so I guess its my turn now & see how much more relaxed we can get them!

Sounds like our West side posse have been doing a little relaxing last night aswell. I spoke to our very sore headed Lord & leader this morning who tells me there was all sorts of fun & games to be had at the Happy Slapper last night in Khao Lak. Of course there aint no point in asking Sonia or Nyco what happened as they won't remember!

Now I wouldn't call myself stupid just cos I speak only 1 language. But if I spoke 2 does that make me clever? How about 3 or 4. Surely you'd be impressed with the size of my brain cells if you knew I spoke 5 languages! But how about 7 languages! Now that's got to be a large brain! I imagine the person who has the brain capacity to speak 7 languages to look like a huge head on a tiny body! Like a sputnik on a toothpick! So imagine my surprise when Panos introduced me to Hal a Norwegian who speaks Swedish, Danish, Norwegian, English, Dutch, German & Spanish! & he has a normal size head! He also has almost as many tattoos as Canada! Speak 7 languages! Thats ridiculous! I reckon he's got them all tattooed on to his body instead! More like read 7 languages! Welcome Hal ! Nice to have some talent on the team at last! We've all been blagging this way too long!

Saturday 15th March 2008-

2008-03-15Ok People! Listen up! Its that time of the month when Rick puts up his hammock for rent! Koh Tao is really busy! The weather is very sunny now, the diving is great we are about to get whalesharks- (mark my words!) but the rooms are running out really fast! We are now Jam packed!! I must have spent 6 hours today wandering up & down Sairee beach from 1 resort to the next trying to help guys get rooms. Now I'm pretty good at this so everyone has been accommodated but its getting harder & don't forget next week is the Koh Phangan Full Moon Party so after that I guarantee there will be people walking up & down the beach looking for rooms at night! Goodluck those people! I'm hoping it won't be any of you guys. I'm hoping you guys are smarter than that & refer to our accommodation page on our website & book some rooms over the internet before you get here. Surely thats got to be better than having to pay through the teeth for Rick's Hammock!

So tomorrow Canada & Mac are off for a 1 week liveaboard trip. Its actually a very very cool trip & most of us are jealous as hell! These guys are off to retrace the steps of some awesome US warship called the Hammerhead that basically cruised the Gulf shooting & sinking vessels when ever they crossed! They are off for a week of some pretty gruelling diving, some fairly murky depths, & some pretty funky yarns! Good on you boys! Hope you have a great trip & find some more wrecks & do some awesome diving! These boys are gonna pull the chicks when they get back! ( Only joking Yvonne!)

Friday 14th March 2008

2008-03-14Ooh it feels a long time since I let my literary jabber flow! Would like to thank our guest writers this week- that'd be G & Deano. Great bit of scriptive ramblings from the Frenchman & an equally twisted twaddle of nonsense from the Welshman! You see I got to get all the Instructors ready to take over the massive time wasting jobs I create for myself everyday as I'm off in a couple of weeks to get hitched! So far the boys have done well. A right pair of Nom de Plums!

Want to give a big ecological shout out to our brothers & sisters over there on the West Side! They did an excellent job this week of cleaning up the rubbish on the Similan Islands. Always good to see the dive community taking an active part in rubbish collecting. Just such a shame there is so much of it. & who the hell is it dropping all the rubbish in the seas? Its not the divers, its not the tourists, I don't believe its the locals or the boats either though I'm sure they make the odd hiccup. So who the hell is the messy bastard dropping all the rubbish everywhere? Is it you?

I can't believe what an incredibly easy idea that was! You get a mask & stick a camera on it & then flog it as an Underwater Digital Camera Mask for enough money that you'll never need to work another day for the rest of your life! Genius! Its amazing how the blindingly obvious can be so well hidden! ANd after seeing Ricks, underwater wrist camera & the new underwater MP3 player, the underwater car, I've become inspired. I'm going to make an underwater Restaurant! Doh!

Wednesday 12th March

2008-03-12For those of you who thought that football was the only sport smeared by hooligans, you're in for a surprise! Our very own huge DMT Olaf just discovered that it's not always safe to hang out around volleyball courts after hours. He came in today with a damaged bike and black eye after a strange encounter with a drunken supporter from an other team. Go Big Blue Ballz!!! If you've seen Olaf before, you would know he is nothing like a black-eyed pea as he is about twice the size of anybody else on this island. Needless to say, he was more than able to stop the sucker!

And here comes our latest DMT, Jan. He's Dutch, lives about 5 minutes away from Olaf in Holland and he's even bigger! I say, if instead of poncy beach sports such as volleyball, we start playing real sports like rugby or ultimate fighting, we have an ever better chance! Welcome Jan, get ready for a lot of serious fun in and out of the water!

The weather's been kind of weird these days. Imagine you set off for a relaxing Chumphon Pinnacle afternoon dive, the sun is shining, the birds are singing and the boats are sailing sweet. Well, you might not expect the heavy rain and the massive waves when you surface from your fantastic dive. My advice: hold on to the ladder before you remove your fins. Like I said earlier, Koh Tao is full of surprises. And make sure you don't pick the wrong day to do your laundry!

Tuesday 11th March

2008-03-11We made it, to the final that is but our other finalist who are semi professionals just pipped us to the post the number one spot. Big Blue Ballz gave it all they got and had tremendous support all night and came away with a great prize thanks to Tim, Charlie and Jeff at Good Time Adventures.

Congatulations to our newest DM's at Big Blue, Olga, David and Karl for their great DM challenge and dressing up as pirates from the caribbean. As always, we all got on the BB bar for the final dance with these guys to show them how the baywatch pose should be done.

So Jim decided to take a day off to samui in light of his ever growing hunger of a quarter pounder with cheese washed down with a dose of popcorn at the movies. Good job indeed cause the white dress he bought for his upcoming wedding, needs to be a comfortable fit for his big day!!

Well done to our new team member Church on becoming part of the BB family. We are happy to say that he won't be doing anymore Lord of the Rings films due to his new commitments of shop duty with Dan and Didi!! Yippee do!

Monday 10th March

2008-03-10Wohoo! So the sun has got his hat on again, hip hip hip hooray!! Sunny day on Sairee beach and the morning crowds of customers flocked through the BB resort.

So Mr Buckland has ordered some tech equipment that he still doesn't know how to use it though think Canada will get to them 1st. Twin tank bands for twin something else. Think he just wants to be hugging the fishes a little bit longer until his missus calls him up for a tasty baby rack of ribs to devour!! Let the race begin, 3-2-1 go go go

So team Big Blue Ballz have entered Koh Tao's 1st volleyball tournament at Moov on sairee beach. They are getting dreesed up Top Gun style being lead by our Thai Maverick 'Tor' to bring the trophy to BB.

And last but not least, congratulations to Canada on becoming a fresh new DSAT Tech Instructor today.

Sunday 9th March 2008

2008-03-09So again we all wake up to the pitter patter of falling rain drops. Even more bad news as our little leprichaun friends and the English ponces get a stuffing by the triple crown kings of '08 and our celtic friends from the north. Only thing now is for the Welsh sheep shaggers to nip to 7-11 and buy some extra freshmint gum to keep the garlic influence at bay.

Party, Party, Party is P'nen's favourite words lately as he ponces around the BB resort looking for our well missed Sonia as she is all BAAAAA!!! He is alll happy and cheery as everyday he looks more like 'The King Of Soul' himself Mr James Brown, nothing like living in america eh P'Nen, he's got the moves just not the words, volunteer anyone??

Nice one livvey, our fresh new swedish DMT of March '08 is Ricky's very own water baby as he now takes her on a guided tour for the next 2 months, nice one brother!!

Saturday 8th March 2008-

2008-03-08In our ever incessant effort to please our fundivers we took the boat around to the East side of the island thismorning! It was actually very exciting as it has been a while since we saw the East Side Massive. The regular turtle sitings & the soft corals & awesome trenches of Hin Wong Pinnacle do make this one of the best sites in Koh Tao. Not today however! Today it was like swimming through muck!

It's been bothering me all morning. I got an email from someone slating me for making an effort to clear up the beach of rubbish! Its been bothering me cos I just don't quite understand what exactly he is getting at. He says he used to be here & he would have to pick up rubbish every morning on his walk down the beach! So if he did it what exactly is he having a go at me for? Would you rather we did nothing & left it there? Sorry mate but you really have confused me!

Gotta take our hats off to ACE Marine VDO camera girl Sonia for her spectacular round with 'Rocky' the Titan Trigger at Green Rock yesterday! Now the Titan trigger is a very territorial fish especially when its nesting & Green Rock isn't a typical site to be seeing nesting Titans! So I think Sonia was a little surprised when she got triggered yesterday. Great recorded action shot of a 3 foot long trigger charging & then careening off with part of Sonia's camera!Nice one Sonia! Nice one Rocky!

Friday 7th March 2008-

2008-03-07If a tall Frenchman came prancing into your office & says 'I've broken my sausage!' What would you do? I immediatley rushed for the tiny splinter we used when Matthias plucked his banjo but it was all in vein! Thankfully our Onion Master hasn't broken his sausage. He's only gone & blown it up! What an inflated penis!

Well pull my papillas' & call me Pamela! Its pissing it down today! Totally unexpected. The laundry was left out, the restaurant pillows are wet, & there appears to be another leak in the kitchen. All good clean aquatropical fun! Not sure todays arriving customers saw it quite that way!

So people if you want to be a part of history & have a story to tell your Grand kids then you better be here by Thursday 29th March for this years spectacular Koh Tao Festival. Last year we had Darren & Heather representing us as Mr & Mrs Koh Tao.We also had Ally & Deano representing us for the quickest male & female drinker award. Ally won both! & then we had a foam party. G showed us how to breakdance. This year as I have something to do with organising it we are going to have a big dance stage with big cages hanging from trees with bikini clad women dancing inside! There'll be free alcohol, Fatboy slim will be playing & there'll be at least one member of the opposite sex for everybody! (Sorry Dan!) I still have to get it all approved by the island elders which will of course never happen but it was nice to fantasize!  

Thursday 6th March 2008-

2008-03-06I feel there's a void in my life! I got all the Instructors doing their thing, I've increased our DM team to accommodate our customer demand, I got 2 girls in the shop full time, I now also have a full time accountant, another taxi driver & less dogs around the resort to fall over. I have now created so much time for myself that I've only gone & volunteered ourselves to coordinate & organise this Years beach clean up for the Koh Tao Festival on Sairee Beach! Its going to be a blast! I've got every diveshop in Sairee involved & we're going to get every customer we got involved! Lets clean this Rock up people. I got time! You do it!

Ever had one of those landlords that just won't leave you alone? Worse thing, is if it hadn't been for Canada's interior house renovating blitz when he first moved in as my neighbour, I wouldn't be having this problem now he's moved out! Bloody neighbours! If its not the rampant cries of lust & yearning from above, its the incessant incoherent babbling of abuse of neighbours & colleagues Landlords! Ruddy pseudo Canadians!

So it is true! I was in the paper! Front page too! Apparently it was a photo of someone else but it had my name & my quotes. I can't actually recall what I said now when I read it as I was so disappointed it wasn't me in the photo. But then I heard the paper only had one photo of me & that was the one they lifted off the website with me in my neoprene sex suit! Guess I should be happy Thailand thinks I look thin & brown with a long flowing flock of golden bleach blonde hair! Mighty Ponce!

Wednesday 5th March 2008

2008-03-05Do you know the things I love about living on Koh Tao…? It’s the little things like the friendly people, the loverly weather, the bikini clad maidens walking on the beach and the power cuts in the morning when you’ve woken up early with your girlfriend because she’s gone diving and you decide to watch a movie. Which promptly stops because the sodding power (which, I must add, we DO take for granted!) cuts out! Aaarrgghhh!!
Anyway, I’ll get off my soap box now….

Yesterday we held a training day for six of our DMT’s which involved a morning session of that cinematic masterpiece, the “PADI Divemaster Video”.
Wow. Truly a great bit of work. The poncy eighties haircuts, the brightly coloured wetsuits and tanks…..! Brilliant.
Then we took them to Japanese Gardens to do skill circuit practice! Not bad for a first attempt I thought. After that we had them running around Banzai like blue arsed flies showing them all the jobs they should be doing instead of the usual sunbathing and picking their noses like they thought they were here to do! Heh heh! Nice wake up call!
Seriously though, we’re only interested in turning out the most highly trained divers here at Big Blue. Make us proud DMT’s!!

Last night one of our Japanese trainee’s crossed over to the dark side and became a fully fledged Divemaster. Brilliant! Well done Daishi! Or Omedetou Daishi!! (in Japanese). Sayonara!

Tuesday 4th March 2008-

2008-03-04Sometimes I think some people get all the luck. Who am I talking about? The happy fundivers and Celine's advanced students gone off to Chumphon Pinnacle this afternoon. No other boats and sharks galore! Last time I went diving there after lunch I swam with the most impressive amount of reef sharks I'd ever encountered. Not to mention the whaleshark that nearly bumped into me. Seriously, some of these big fish really need to see their ophtalmologist more often. Their next stop will be White Rock and it looks like there's a turtle who's made that dive site his home base. Grab your torch and look under the boulders, he likes to hide!

If you think that's not good enough for you, catch this: wreck Wedenesday on a Tuesday, I dreamed of it, Canada did it! Once again, he's taken a bunch of sunken ship thirsty DMTs and fundivers to explore the lost vessels of the Gulf. Tully and Mac, the mini-Canadas as we call them here, are part the trip as usual. Hey Canada, don't forget to tidy your new house before Yvonne gets back! Given your capabilities as a housekeeper at Big Blue, I doubt it will be problem. And try not to wreck any of her belongings!

Congratulations to Daichi, Big Blue Chaba's newest divemaster. Challenge tonite! Let's see what kind of silly humiliating activities our Japanese staff have prepared for him. It's at 9PM in our favorite Beach Bar, come down if you want to have a laugh and a few drinks. But don't wear anything too nice, you never know what's going to happen... Nobody like wasabi stains on a white shirt!

Monday 3rd March 2008-

2008-03-03Well the hurricane of people that came to the island seems to have died down a bit now. For the first time in what seems like at least a couple of weeks there are rooms available again on Sairee Beach. So Rick has taken down his piece of beach front real estate- the hammock- to have it cleaned in preparation for next months whirlwind of revellers! So come on over people there's plenty of room at Rick's now.

The viz apparently is outstanding at the moment. There's heaps of fishies, 20 meter visibility, the divesites are less crowded & the sun has got his hat on. Unfortunatley the sun took a day off yesterday. I didn't really mind but I'm not sure the divers on our full day trip were too impressed. The diving was good, I was told, but the weather was pants!

Thanks Canada for putting that wonderful photo of me in a wetsuit on Facebook! Have you not been reading the news & watching the documentaries! Apparently Facebook is all about getting information on people & using it to screw them up in later life! So now for the rest of my life I'm going to be living in fear that the CIA or PADI Police might charge down my door & have me arrested for some underground form of neoprene bondage! Just so pleased they haven't seen the one you took of me with a tank banger in my mouth!

Saturday 1st March 2008-

2008-03-01You'd think when a creature as big as a house swims past you in the sea there'd be a little more commotion. The problem in Koh Tao these days seems to be that the Whaleshark is here so often now that people get used to it & would rather see something else. Checking out the goby & the goby shrimp, the size of half a pencil each, at Mango Bay seems to be more rewarding for some of our guests who've been diving with us a while, than looking for the Whale Shark. Its like checking out a chicken when its standing next to an elephant!

Very happy to be welcoming another member to the Big Blue Team & that is Divemaster Dan. Dan has done a lot of training with us & has proved himself to be quite the stud when doing his DSD's! He is ridiculously good looking, and yet still finds time to tear himself & his hair away from the mirror & do his job properly. Lately he has had to tear himself away from a 'couple of things' in order to show up at work on time. Eh Tiger!

So despite the fact that Koh Tao has been very busy, & that we haven't actually been able to book a room on Sairee Beach for the better part of a week now there isn't too much to report on. Divers are diving, Instructors are instructing, students are studyng. Its all very hum drum really. Though having said that I did spot a new breed of bikini the other day which was nice. Thanks for that young lady!

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