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January 18th 2014

18 Jan 2014 ="post-tag" > Written by  ="post-tag" >

Batman on a horse
guyThe boss Jim is currently away visiting friends and family back home. So it's a given that anarchy ensued within hours of his departure. Regarding our instructors, Neil has vowed to demonstrate what a showman he can be on the open water videos, and has already bought his leotard. Mini Ant is threatening to get a life-size tattoo of a sea urchin on his face- not because the boss is gone, but because he thinks it'll probably match his eyes. Iain might even go so far as to say a swear word in front of his students, and Ami with an I has already rented a salang, from which she intends to sell laughing gas outside the office as our fun divers come back from their dives. Helium would have made more sense. As for the divemasters, Steven will suspend his usual high standards of customer service, and instead will tell anyone and everyone he meets exactly what he's thinking.. no wait... and Carly will probably start snogging all the divemaster trainees, male and female, all in one drunken night....... again.
But fear not people. Standing in for Jim is divemaster trainee mentor Guy, one of our finest, oldest and weirdest instructors. The other staff may think they will be able to wrap him around their collective fingers, but he has a fiercesome arsenal of nuanced jedi mind tricks he can play to keep everyone in line. Firstly, hailing from Yorkshire allows him to keep his natural miserable-ness on high alert- for 24 entire hours of each and every day (i'm told he sleep-whinges). So trying to get on his good side is technically an oxymoron as he doesn't have sides, or good. Secondly, he has extensive experience in handling unhappy customers from his years of performing in working men's clubs in his home town of Huddesfield. His turn was basically a David Copperfield-style magic act, performed whilst dressed as Jimmy Sommerville with high collars, extensive make-up and a cape. So, short of dazzling him with their ability to make the ocean dissapear/re-appear, he won't be fooled by any customers that appear to be having too good a time. Thirdly, he's definitely the right man for the job.. if that job is to sit on a horse looking like you have saddle sores, whilst wearing a batman t-shirt. I think that requires no further elucidation.
Joking aside, Big Blue is in good hands, we're busy and our staff are working hard, pulling together, and enjoying what they do. Whether you're a fun diver or learning how to dive, you'll get the best experience of diving you can possibly have on Koh Tao. So what are you waiting for? Guy is dying to say hello and introduce you to Steven..

Turtle traps
With high season well under way, here's two things to avoid on Koh Tao. The first is laughing gas. It's actually illegal in Thailand, but for some reason it's recently become big business on Koh Tao. Lots of bars are selling it all along Sairee beach- it seems to be the new poppers. But it's not very good for you after you've been diving. Think about it, nitrous... nitrogen. What is your body trying to get rid of after a dive? Exactly. The medical literature is very well versed on the need to avoid laughing gas or entonox (if you dive in the UK) after a dive. So do one or the other, but not both. There has also been a massive increase in used balloons littering Sairee beach. This is ugly, but more importantly some of it will end up going out to sea. Perfect food for turtles and other marine mammals (they might think they look edible). But they will get stuck in their throats and kill them. All because you wanted a cheap high.
Secondly, lots of people like buying one of those huge lanterns, adorning it with some kind of profound message written in very fetching and romantic permanet marker, and then setting it free to float up in the air. But what comes up must come down. There isn't a lantern cleaner that sits in a boat waiting for these things to fall back to earth so they can be disposed of safely. They land back in the sea and stay there, and over time the paper disintegrates, leaving the wire frame sitting there for turtles to get stuck in. Turtles have been found dead in the past encased in these things. Even if they weren't hazardous to turtles, would you buy a load of paper and wire and throw them in the sea? Of course not, so why is it ok if they stay in the air for a while first? Stop littering the ocean and watch the beautiful sunset instead, then go diving on a beautiful, litter-free dive site.

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Read 1320 times Last modified on Tuesday, 24 October 2017 08:24

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