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February 21st 2014

21 Feb 2014 Written by 

On a tropical Island far far away
scuba-warsThis may be the weirdest blog in a while (and that's probably saying something), but recently I was asked to write a post comparing staff at Big Blue with star wars characters. Of course it was a conversation in the bar, but i'll give it a go. Now, not being a huge star wars fan even though I grew up with the original three, there may be some confusion with star trek and spaceballs in there somewhere. But unlike the films, all characters appearing in this work are real. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is because they do resemble them.. kind of.
Instructor Guy- divemaster trainee mentor and professional Moby assassination double. He's mentored a number of instructors that ended up working at Big Blue, which is either extreme cronyism, or they were well trained. Two such people are instructors Oli and Alex. They look up to Guy in a weird worther's originals kind of way, so, if Guy was luke Skywalker, which is about as far, far away from reality as you can imagine, then Oli would have to be C3PO, as he's Skywalker's slave.. I mean companion, and he exudes a camp lankiness that you could probably only get in space.. all that metal needs lubricating after all. Now, comparing instructor Alex to an Ewok would be lazy if you've met him, so Alex would have to be an Ewok, as Ewoks tend to hang around with C3PO and are squat, hairy and cuddly (and probably play rugby in their spare time). I think that's were the similarity ends, because they're both vying for Guy's fatherly affections, but as far as I remember, Ewoks just thought Skywalker was just some important dude with a long glow stick, and actually worshipped C3PO. Good job the comparisons end there, because it would mean that Alex would have a shrine to Oli at his house, and Guy would have to be pretty handy with strip lighting, have hair, and be quite adept at moving objects with his mind (that much may be true).
But Guy does have a girlfriend that I think once attended a fancy dress party dressed as princess Leia. Though I don't think Big Blue instructor of the year Petra is his sister, but it wouldn't surprise me if she was.. the sicko.
PADI and SSI instructor Luke White is obviously Jabba the Hut because he likes to eat gekkos, moan a lot, and probably has a big pit under his house. Chewbacca roams the earth in the form of divemaster Steven, as he looks like one, and Chewy's language was loosely based on Geordie. Obi Wan Kinobi would have to be SSI instructor trainer Simmo as he's wise and old and hangs around young boys, and Jess would be R2D2 as she always fixes the messes that everyone else gets into... and probably bleeps a lot.
Instructor Donnie would be Hans Solo because he's got similar hair, used to be a carpenter, and must have, at some point in his life been frozen in carbon. But who's going to get the honour, or own up to being Guy's father Darth Vader? Tosh doesn't work for us any more and he would have never fit into the costume (apart from his head). And who would be unfortunate to be compared with Jar Jar Binks? Our fun diver boat Porponawa is obviously the millenium falcon as it's the fastest boat on Koh Tao, and we do see the occassional death star on the dive sites... 
I think i'll write the next blog post about scuba tanks, just to make the point that reality has resumed and we are in fact a dive resort!

Noisy little critters
Now that we're out of monsoon, some little insects have come out to play that are the bane of any dive instructor's open water academic session- Cicadas. They make a hell of a racket and we're well and truly stuck with them. So here's a few facts about them that you're all dying to know:

- Adult cicadas live 2 to three weeks, but some live only for a day or two or less.
- The male cicada makes the loudest sound in the insect world; they have their own built-in sound system. The sound can carry for up to a mile.
- The sound is made by vibrating the ribbed plates in a pair of amplifying cavities at the base of the abdomen.
- Each species has its own distinctive call and only attracts females of its own kind, even though rather similar species may co-exist.
- A female cicada lays her eggs in the twigs of trees and shrubs. She places the eggs in small holes that she makes with a sawlike organ near the tip of her abdomen.
- The female cicada can lay four hundred to six hundred eggs.
- After the adults have mated, both will die.
- Different species can be heard at different times of the day. While some prefer mating during the day, others prefer the evening hours.
- Cicadas have large compound eyes situated one on each side of the head They also have three very small glistening simple eyes (ocelli) on the top of the head.
- Cicadas feed by piercing the surface of plants with their mouth stylets. They then suck up the sap through a tube formed by the concave surfaces of two of the stylets. They also suck water out of moist sand on the banks of streams.
- Male cicadas have been seen to attempt to mate with other males as well as with dead females.

 

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