May 9th 2008

W--------K!!! Yeah, I know, again… Getting boring isn’t it? This time the massive creature was spotted on Green Rock giving the opportunity for another group of divers to lose their whaleshark virginity. But the most important news here is that Church was not on the boat. Kind of reassuring I would say. It now turns out you don’t have to make sure Church is on the roster before you sign up for a dive to see a whaleshark anymore. Everybody gets a chance and all divers are created equal!

If you’ve been hanging around the Big Blue shop these days, you’ve probably heard a lot drilling and hammering noises. You’ve also noticed that Rick is here all day long but that he is not diving. Well, the reason is we are revamping the shop and Mr.-I’m-building-my-own-house-on-Koh-Tao is supervising the progress himself after designing the future setup. You can already check out the retail area where the masks, fins and dry bags are displayed. The rest isn’t finished yet but we will keep you updated on a daily basis. From what I see this morning, looks like we might have a brand new counter tonight!

The weather has been gorgeous for the last days apart from the 5 minutes of rain we just had half an hour ago. What’s 5 minutes, hey? Banzai has gone on a Full Day Trip to Sail Rock again today and the afternoon fundivers get to visit the East Coast dive sites. Sairee Beach is as beautiful as ever so everybody, why not drop that pen or that computer or whatever it is you are working with right now and come down to the Rock!!!

28th April 2008

Love on the Rock? 'Ain't no big surprise.
Pour me a drink, and I'll tell you some lies.
Nothing you can do or say, if they have to leave, they'll just go away.....

Or not ;) Seems like Big Blue's 'Tech' DMT is in for a Swedish surprise when he gets back from his wreck trip and finds a certain someone has decided to stay! Ah, the Darling Buds of May sprouting already and here we are still in April...

Its often been said (by Marcel) thats its easy to meet people on the island, the hard part is getting them to stay. It can be a lonely life as an islander *takes out violin* as I'm sure you can imagine, but these are the sacrifices we must make if we are to live in paradise seven days a week *puts violin away, takes out brass band*, enduring long, sun-drenched afternoons drinking bloody mary and Ricky's Vodka Surprise (AKA The Kneecapper) on the balcony, dropping off the side of Banzai into dark blue, warm, clear water at Chumpon Pinnacle first thing in the morning, swimming with whalesharks, sleeping in hammocks, waking up in bushes. So spare a thought for those of us left behind by those of you who went away, its not all Pina Coladas and getting caught in the rain, you know.... Well maybe it is ;) 

27th April 2008

3 more on the count!!! 3 proud new Divemasters of the finest kind, the Big Blue one. Yesterday was the cause for lots of celebration and of course, another DM Challenge. The theme was Ross’s wet dream and featured two very sexy bedfellows, Jodie and Malin. Ross, I wish I could read your mind and have the same dream you had last night! If you thought scuba equipment setup was just a casual dull activity, those two sexy sandwomen turned it into the hottest thing and had all the boys with their tongues hanging out, drooling on the Big Blue Bar floor. More than one reason for all of our 15 DMTs to hop on the bar counter where it was still dry and not too slippery. Thankfully, the bar now has an extension to fit the whole bunch!

 

While we are having fun in the sun, some less fortunate people are mourning in cold Europe, dreaming about the Rock, with or without Malin and Jodie, depending on your sex, I guess. Caz has confirmed (for the fifth time now?) that she will be back. Ok, girl, we got the message, thank you. The restaurant has already ordered two tons of pineapple and 3 tons of cheese for your return. And G’s ordered an oxygen mask to protect himself from the disgusting stench of the most disturbing culinary combination in the world!


So farewell to Malin, Ross, Olga, Suzi and Hugo. We hope to see you back soon, in and out of the water. Take care all. The Big Blue team.

22nd April 2008

Well.... Full Moon is over and people are slowly making their way across to Koh Tao all painted up with the biggest pair of sunglasses they can find to cover their tired, black looking eyes from excessive alcohol abuse.

Normally the islands packed by now with no rooms, people running around looking for the cheapest room and diving package!

but not this time which is a real shame as the sun is shining, visibility is awesome and our instructors are eager to teach and introduce people in to the weird and wonderful world of diving.

Whats going on at Big Blue

As Sonia and Robyn came for songkran to run up the biggest bar tab,
they did that and a little bit more (nice one sonwon) but now they've left again,
Sonia for one month in cold England and Robyn of f to Indonesia, have a good time girls.

As the Japanese team start to get busy we welcome back Mayuko one of their instructors and her fiancee Dan one of our videographer's.

Simon's keeping himself busy and is very involved with the D.M.T course, now its a busy schedule for him as there's 17 of these guys so he's had to take on extra curricular activites!

but only invited one of the D.M.T's and has been enjoying some very expensive indian dishes!!(thats a bit unfair Simon).

World earth day was yesterday and Darren and the D.M.T's went to Japanese Garden's dive site to conduct a reef watch.

We've got another Full Day Trip out today so the bar is going be full of exciting stories as people relax with a few beers and watch the vidoe of the days going on's.

This weeks also busy for us guys as we have a line of D.M.T's finishing and we all know what that means!

DM CHALLENGE'S

ooh yeah we're going to get these guys really drunk and make fools of them in front of everyone and get pissed up ourselves, cool, beer's ahoy !

 

Sunday, April 20th

Sail Rock!!! Another fantastic two dives yesterday on the best dive site in the Gulf of Thailand. Fusiliers galore, couldn’t count the number of schools we saw! Not to mention that massive school of chevron barracudas intimidating every other fish, causing great tremor in the depths. What about those weird creatures with a big tank on their back desperately trying to swim through the fusiliers as if they could keep up with the speed of marine life? They are funny looking and strangely behaving characters just swimming with the fishes, seeking for scorpion fish and going up and down the chimney as many times as they can. There was more staff on board than customers! Panos and G got to enjoy the thrill of fundiving for the first time in moths. They were joined by Sonia and Robyn who’d just been slacking on the west coast for the last 3 months anyway. But we all know the real reason why people go on Full Day Trips, even when they are supposed to have a day off: the massaman! Banzai is officially the best Thai restaurant on Koh Tao!!!

Talking about the Koh Tao Party Life Cycle, April 17th was the day for two celebrations. One was G’s birthday, started with a house party where everybody got to sip wine, taste pastis and try the dreaded Martiniquan rhum. Not many people managed to down the latter, guess you gotta be really tough for that one! After a few a spilled cups and one broken glass of wine (thanks, Malin), the crew went on to Moov and got joined by Rich. Congrats Rich on becoming an instructor and making Big Blue proud! Everybody was happy to help Rich celebrate, hugging him, buying him drinks or offering services of another nature;-) Hello cheeky!


Tonite’s the Full Moon Party so tomorrow will see the boats unload with spaced out backpackers full of flurorescent paint, eager to learn how to dive. For us, that’s the big day of the month so we like to chill out in preparation. What a better way to relax than to sit on a balcony facing Nang Yuan and watching a movie on a big screen. Thanks Rick for the movie night last night but make sure your hammoc is available for tomorrow!

 

April 17th 2008

Songkran is over, everyone is back to work. The temptation to throw a bucket of ice water over people is still bubbling away in the background but we are resisting ...so far.

G's birthday today so its all round to his house this evening for saucissons and fromages, Ricard and red wine, a discussion on french existentialists and Jane Birken's bosom, Gitanes all round and Serge Gainsbourg crooning some filthy chanson d'amour in the background. You're all invited, see you there!

Sad farewell to Anna who leaves for Finland today, rivers of tears were shed by most at the Dragon bar last night, whilst others sought solace in the cocktail menu, have you tried the Espresso Martini?

Its hard working for a dive shop on Koh Tao, the hours are long, the rewards are soon spent, and we seem to be constantly bidding farewell to great friends. There are a few reasons why we stay so long, though.

Reasons to be cheerful:

The weather. There's nothing like waking up to warm sunshine, blue skies and gentle salt scented sea breezes each and every day.

The diving. Especially at the moment when vis is great, its 30C in the water. Lets face it, who doesn't like messing about on boats and in the warm, clear waters of Koh Tao?

Riding a motorbike to work every day. Not to be underrated, this.

Never having to cook, clean, wash dishes, do laundry etc. Unless you really want to, that is!

Its usually cheaper to eat out than cook, and theres a little old lady somewhere will do the rest.

Thai food. Tastes great, fresh, healthy, different. And if you get bored or fancy a change the Western food here is great now, too.

Meeting people every day who are either travelling, working abroad or just on holiday means just about everyone you come across is in a pretty good mood most of the time. Can't say the same thing about too many other places...

 

 

 

April 16, 2008

Songkran was...awesome. I had so much fun, I can't wait for the next one. Some of us had to dive in the morning which was a bit of a pisser, but Banzai got raided by a longtail full of drunken DMT's on our return and Sairee was already fun and games by midday. Choice of weapon was revealing as ever. Most of the boys opting for the biggest, meanest looking water bazooka they could find (Guillaume), nice long, fat bright red barrel, multi-spouted business end, pump action power jet kinda thing - compensating for what, I wonder? Others strapped on pink Pokemon pussycat backpacks (Simo and Dan) and plumped for compact yet accurate *actual size* rifles, whilst MacGyver Rick brought his home-made 'water mortar' which promised much more than it delivered. Drunken waterfights were the order of the day, BB raided Simple Life en masse, then braced for the inevitable counter raid, Asia Divers came down to BB, led by our very own in-house Hawaian traitor, Rick! Its hard to describe the scenes at Sairee, just an entire island full off pissed up happy people soaked to the skin and laughing their asses off for an entire day. Nightime is all a bit of a blur, buckets were flowing, tabs were growing, and the dancing was bad as ever. One by one people paired up and sloped off or just stumbled their way back to their bungalows (or patch of sand, comfortable bush, random hammock). Any gossip? Plenty, but this blogger 'ain't tellin!

April 12th 2008

One day to Songkran and Sairee beach is filling up with peoples getting wet not just in the water as watering guns are flocking the beach. Aukotans supplies are running low and everyone's getting that cheeking grin on their face saying you're next! Its still really hot still and people's enjoying the tropical laziness of koh tao.

Our Full Day Trip divers came back yesterday with huge smiles as they spent 2 beautiful dives at Sailrock and 1 at Southwest where the vis was stunning and conditions were awesome and don't forget the massaman curry (still the best!).

Well Canada's started a Tech Basics course today which includes 4 dives 3 tanks per person to 24 metre's waow this serious stuff these guys are experiencing! Simo, Panos and G are still bitching about having to work tomorrow mormig but hey its not a bad thing to keep these guys away from the bars in the early morning as they would be tucked up in bed at 3pm otherwise!!

As the Big Blue Bar opens at 12 tomorrow the race will be on to see who racks up the biggest tab, In the absence of the welshman we've recruited Birmingham's strongest woman SONIA! yes guys she's back, so be on guard she was in training last night with Robyn and Dan! So guys lets wish all the Thai people a Happy New Year and mourn for the people who have to work tomorrow!!

April 10th 2008

 

Victory is ours!!! For the last months, some idiots have been renting out jetskis on Sairee Beach, jeopardizing swimmers and divers’ safety. So they made a channel, but it goes right over where most dive schools do their skills. And they’re not even using anymore as they prefer to zoom on top the coral. Well, yesterday was a day of rejoicing as we watched one of those machines burn right on the beach.

 

Needless to say, there was a lot of clapping going on. Of course, Darren went strait to 7-eleven to buy more marshmallows!The vis is incredible at the moment, everybody just came back from Chumphon and White Rock with a massive smile on their face. The weather is superb as well and it’s still really hot. Fans are blowing full speed all day long… when they can!! Power is still a bit of an issue.

 

However, the heat hasn’t stopped Darren from running his Dry Suit Specialty course in Chumphon this morning. Problem is, because of the sweat dripping from he and his student, the suits weren’t really dry!This heat is perfect for Songkran Yes, two more days!!! People are flocking from everywhere to Koh Tao and Sairee is where it’s going to happen. The event is even attracting people from the “other side”, Sonia and Robyn are on their way, Dan is also finally back from his never ending visa run to join the fun. Don’t miss it!

 

The souvenir shops are stocking up on super soakers and I hear Aukotan’s got a great selection. Might go shopping this afternoon... The real good news is that Canada’s request a few days ago has been heard. A little bird told me the Big Blue Bar will open at midday and this year they will make sure to have enough supplies to stay open all night. Let’s see who gets the biggest tab in the absence of the Welshman!

 

 

  April 9th 2008

Today is again very hot, and still no power. However that didn't stop the big blue wrecking crew for a day out on the unicorn. It's always fun to see the genuine concern of virgin wreck divers on their faces to be replaced with huge grins and laughter when they get back. Since the trip was all girls, the boys were smiling as well.

Darren still doing his drysuit course, i think they're in the pool today. That was the easy part, getting 4 tons of ice added was a bit more challenging.

Oskar is studying furiously to start his tech course, he's an x-dmt who's been itching to start so on the 19th off we go!
Our fearless leader has risen, it seems Jim saw the rocky video and is doing his own exercise montage, i can see him now running in the snow with dodgy russian cars following and doing sit ups in barns. Hopefully he'll be buff enough to defend us from the wrath of Darren. He's made fish appreciation and mandatory lecture, it wasn't that hard, once you admit you have a problem it goes quite smoothly. To quote G "Hello my name is G and i'm a fish adict" bit to much crying and holding hands for most so please Captain JD, help!

G's out of prison, they let him go when they found out about how much trouble he has picking up women, they felt sorry and sent him on his way. Maybe next time G try saying hello first?

On the baby news front I've heard Poon-Tang is getting bigger already so it's either she's eating to much meat (no pun intended) or she's preggers. How about Bang for a name.. that has a nice ring to it.

As for Simo's pink eye, appearently you can cure it with breast milk, this has no diving value however i mention because i know who will have more then enough soon.. jade?

I close with a congratulations to Tim who managed to do his eap in a record short time of 4 days, that boy can really impress when he puts his mind to it!

 

April 8th 2008

So it seems the power situation on Koh Tao is still looming in despair. However they did get massive mobile power generators on the island to light the 50% of the island in darkness. However when they arrived they we so happy to be on koh tao and with their engineer mates (engineer used lightly, i haven't seen proper wiring yet) and just got pissed. So today in a hangover state they're trying to splice into the island main supply with these generators. I'm not holding my breathe that i'll have lights tonight.

Darren is doing a Big Blue first, a Dry Suit Specialty. Now you're probably wondering why Canada isn't doing it and then you might notice he sweats in Air con sitting down, we can just imagine the language from him putting it on. Since today is actually the hotest day this year we're all wondering how mad these boys must be, perhaps during monsoon when you might actually need it. But hey, big blue leads the way again with alternative diving!

With Simons naked sleep walking experience G thought it was a good way to pick up women, we're trying to sort the bail out now.. silly frenchmen.

Panos is back and he's very excited to be teaching something other than open water and advanced, he's actually doing a rescue course, should be entertaining.

And with that it's another hot hot hot day in paradise, i move to vote the bar starts serving cocktails at 1pm, anyone else with me?

April 7th 2008

Its been a busy few days for the Big Blue Nurse. After Canada's low speed collision with a parked bike (it just jumped out in front of him apparently), Ricky is suffering from Yuppie Flu (no energy, especially after a night on the Jameson's) and Simon may have sparked the island's latest epidemic of.....PINKEYE! In the communal (incestuous), caring (lecherous) and sharing (Dan) environment of the dive shop, Pinkeye has been known to spread faster than an English girl in Benidorm.

Mask sterilisation measures have been initiated and poor old Simo has been quarantined in Chalok Baan Khao until his eyes unglue themselves or he cuts off his gunk clotted eyelashes himself, and then applies the bleach drops,,, maybe Toilet Duck to make sure he gets it right under the lid ;)

They say you should never go back, but this in no way applies to Koh Tao. It really still is as good as you remember and its even better when you come back for another stay. All you have to do is quit your job, sell your house, dump your boyfriend and book the flight! Come on, you know you want to. Why wait? You could be back on the Rock before you know it ;)

Seems like we may be seeing the return of the Haigh sometime in June, and Phoong Tang Ba-Boom Thang keeps threatening to come back too. Oh, the anticipation!

Speculation over the guest bloggers identities filling in for Jimbo while he's tying the knot continues unabated. Guess who? Answers on a postcard, please.

 

April 6th 2008 -

Farewell to Sopi the Swiss divemaster and Julie the Norwegian fundiver. Get home safe and we hope to see you again soon. Everybody gathered at Hippo Bar and Grill Friday night to say goodbye to the lovely couple. The tables in the East restaurant definitely miss Sopi, never forgetting how they were treated one night of September last year. What a show!

Canada came back form Samui yesterday, after taking more morphine than a horse can handle!! He looks a bit different now, walking with a massive splint on his left leg. Just need a metallic voice and you can mistake him for Robocop! The 7 gates of hell nearly opened when poor Canada lost his crutch and started looking for it everywhere in the resort. Rumour had it that captain Peak had stolen it, you never know when you need a spare. Thankfully, Canada recovered his cane, he'd forgotten he'd left it by the TECH shack. Was he planning to store it with rest of the equipment? Will it be the latest trend in TECH diving equipement? I heard the boys from Trident ordered a whole batch for their next trip.

But Canada's despair is none equal to Simon's whose clothes were 'stolen' the other night. As everyone, our scouser was at Hippo to say goodbye to Sopi and Julie and claims he only had "a few drinks". After a while, Simon went home -with his own bike, might I add- but was woken up in the middle of the night by his neighbour. He was lying in bed, in his birthday suit, when the nextdoor guy, accompagnied by a local "friend" opened the door of his appartment. Whose flat??? The neighbour's, of course. They look just alike according to the defendant. Problem was Simon could not find his clothes to put them back on and walk back to his place. Turned out that his clothes were in his appartment and the door was locked. Talk about sleepwalking, people of Koh Tao, lock your doors, the scouser is watching you!!!

April 4th 2008 -

WHALE SHARK WATCH! It seems it's not just unwashed and tatooed hippies that love Koh Tao, Big Fish love it too. Today we had 3 seperate sightings. One was at Southwest Pinnacle (i was surprised too) and in the afternoon we had 2 at Chumphon Pinnacle. Most divers spent 30 minutes with the big fish alone, however the winner of "logged time with the big fish" award was Mac who had 60 minutes with the magestic beast. Why did he have so much time you ask? because he's a technical diver and was wearing 2 tanks. Just goes to show it's not just about going deeper. Hopefully the whale sharks will stay around long enough for everyone to see. Personally i think they're just here to see Celine's Yoga show.. next at 3pm people.

Thankfully however, G was at japanese gardens teaching his eager students on hower to master diving, so he missed it. I know we write a lot about G, but when he see's a whale shark you can get drunk very quickly if you drink to every mention that man makes of the fish, at first it's very exciting but after 3 hours we're all very "yes we know G, you told us already"

As you can see from the wall Poon-Tang is looking for names for her kid, you could always throw pots and pans down the stairs and see what comes out.. ping, pong, bang etc etc or just name it Ernst after his/her father. Get Some!

Canada is back tomrrow, after enough drugs to kill a horse and more sponge baths than a beached whale he said he's had enough of being treated nicely and he's going home to some more familiar abuse.

In other news we have songkran coming up soon. In the infinate wisdom of the government they have extended this rather wet and drunk holiday from 4 days to 5. However it's still a ban on alcohol during elections. I see what they're doing now, they take drinking days to get elected and then just refund us for the time lost. I love thailand more and more everyday.

A bit of advice for songkran virgins - dry bag! There's even a warm up party Saturday the 12th at that pool bar place to get everyone used to it.

Still another sunny hot day in paradise, i can see walking dive flags everywhere. Sunblock should be applied evenly people not just your face and chest.

April 2nd 2008 - 

Whaleshark showed it's face today even after Darren yelled at it, this time it gave a private performance above the Unicorn Wreck to the privelegded wreck divers aboard the new Valiant 8m RIB. This one wasn't as friendly as yesterdays, it stayed about 5m down (probably sensed the menace in these hardened divers).

The afternoon has been a fury of activity, fun divers off on Navakid and confined divers on Big Blue. Sun, Smiles and Coconut - What else could you ask for.

Jim finally left today for his 5 week wedding/holiday i'm not sure which one he's looking forward to more , but Darren is finally in charge and the whole resort is holding their breathe... sink or swim matey. just kidding, he's going to do a great job.

Canada and Yvonne have made their engagement official. They tried to keep it quiet but changing their status on facebook didn't help. So it should be shouting and loudness at the canada home for years to come.

Finally a Big Blue welcome to our two new DMT's Peter and Zara. That makes it 15 DMT's, they're being oriented by Ricky as we speak, so i'm sure Jameson whiskey will be an important part of their course.

April 1st 2008

Today is fools day so i'll start the news off with our french instructor G. Last night Big Blue was gracious enough to treat it's staff to a wonderful wine and dine evening at Morava. The meal started off with Fondue, now i'm not a cheese dipper connoisseur so we had our local french explain the ins and outs of it. If those reading this don't know either it's basically a bowl of hot cheese, several bits of bread and very sharp sticks. Thankfully no one was hurt but G was kind enough to share his extensive knowledge of fondue and went off on one foe about an hour, but ladies, apparently he likes to rub it down with garlic before he adds the meat, C'est Bonne.

Whalesharks are back, we had one today at Green Rock, Darren was mortified when the aquatic beast tried to go through the swim through and he shouted "No overhead environments, padi standards fishy!" But it was Yvonne's first course with G and who could ask for more on their Dive 4 of their open water course then the biggest fish in the world, congrats.

On a more interesting topic, Non-Complicated Life (name changed for privacy) dive school set off for an afternoon of diving in paradise on their long-tail and sank about 100 meters away. New wreck??  no one was hurt as thankfully everyone could swim, i can sense a rise in dry bag sales coming.

This is Jim's last day as manager before he heads off to New Zealand (it's not that new) to get married to Andrea. He's gone for 5 weeks leaving Darren in charge. If you know Darren and jim you they could be twins, odd chest hair, shaved head, dodgy accent and a german woman so it should be business as normal.

Also tomorrow we have a new Wreck trip vessel called the Valiant, instead of the 6m rib owned buy DJL Divers we used before, this one is 8m and owned by Trident you can lap Koh Tao in 16 minutes. Get Some!

Speaking of get some, gossip says one of our old DM's and one of our old DMT's are having a baby. We're not sure how this started (DMT - Pee) but if its true we're all very happy for them.

Our local scotsman DMT Mac has come down with a bug and spent the night passing fluids in a 12 gun salute style. Some people think it's from something he drank, we all agreed that evernignt 14 gin an tonics will give you the runs but our clinics solution was to put him on an IV Drip. Restraints had to be used to stop him from adding vodka to the bag, he should be back up and walking by tomorrow.

Monday 31st March 2008-

Some men get excited by football. The French male gets excited by the smell of onions. For some its diving. And of course there is another thing that gets the male libido standing proud & I think in a weird & rather unsettling way I manged to rouse that feeling today when I informed the boys of what is happening tomorrow! You could quite literally see the musk of testosterone emanate from their pores & the shorts tighten up in the nether regions! We got 19 female bikini clad Swedish reps coming over for a day of snorkeling & brochure modelling tomorrow. That's why Dan, Ricky & Simon haven't been at work for the last few days- Brushing the hair & ironing the speedos are we boys?

I remember my Mum once telling me when I was about to leave the nest to never go to a Doctor whose plants have died! Its a pretty good philosophy & its stuck with me ever since! So when I went into the Koh Tao clinic the other day to get someone looked at I did hesitate when I saw the dead potplants & turned straight around & walked out when I saw a circle of about 6 nurses, all sitting on the ground with their back towards the person behind them while picking nits out of the hair of the person infront! Dead plants & nurses with nits! Not exactly Greys Anatomy the KT clinics!

Its another popular full day trip to the best dive site in the Gulf of Thailand today. Breakfast/ Lunch /Staff pantomime/ & 3 of the best dive sites in the Gulf of Thailand. There are schools of baracuda's, typhoons of trevally, moray eels, sting rays, sharks & of course the biggest fish in the sea, the whale shark! Very similar in fact to the types of wildlife I'm faced with everyday in the office...well schools of students & typhoons of Germans at least!

Sunday March 30th 2008

Got to give an enormous shout out to all of you who helped us yesterday in the Reef clean up organised by our very own Eco boy Darren. We had about 150 volunteers all turn up at Big Blue for the brief including Michael, the owner of Big Blue, Jonas, our Course Director, Hans , PADI Regional Director for Thailand, & Al, SSI Thailand Instructor Trainer. All with their marigolds on & ready to pick up trash. It was really quite a sight! I think there was over 70 divers & 30 snorkellors & kayakers ready to clean Sairee Beach up & the amount of rubbish.... well actually there was very little! A lot of straws & a lot of cigarette butts mostly. Other items of note where bottle tops & plastic bags but really that was pretty much about it! So good going everyone. Looks like we are learning how to tidy up after ourselves a little at last. Now if we could all just stop getting drunk we might remember to do it at night aswell!

And after a heavy day of picking up things it was time for the highlight of the Koh Tao Festival- the Koh Tao Festival! There was food, drinks, a Muay Thai fighting demonstration, Thai dancing, a photo competition, a raffle, & heaps of other little things. I think the Raffle was the biggest success with over 50000 Baht raised by the organisers- That would be Gary & his team at SSI Thailand! Kind of put PADI to shame really! Prizes in the raffle ranged from a free PADI Instructor Development Course, a Suunto Dive Computer, free dinner at most restaurants around KT, there was heaps of prizes. We gave a full length 5mm wetsuit & a free Dive Course! I also made an arse of myself on stage! That was also free!

And to do all this just at a time when we are so busy again! Not easy all this juggling people, courses, accommodation, instructors, DM's, boats, divesites. Good job I'm off in a couple of days, eh Darren! 
 

Saturday, March 29, 2008

If you've been here before, you know how hard it is to get away. People leave because they have to but very rarely with a smile on their face, sobbing as they get on a taxi, going into depression walking onto the boat and praying for mercy as they fly home. However, once a year some of us like to go home to our cold countries for a month to visit the family and the friends. Fair enough. But even that can be an endeavour! It seems that some of us just can't go. Our Welsh friend is a good example. Finally arrived in Chumphon the other night, ready to hop on the train to Bangkok and catch a plane home, Deano realised he'd forgotten his ticket ! Compelled to buy a later ticket -1st class please- our sheep lover washed his mistake away with a few more Singhas. After 45 hours of travelling and wandering, he eventually made it home to surprise his mum. Well done and say hi to the family for us!

The Festival is on today, I can see Darren preparing the banners for the clean-up already. Not easy on such a hot day, everybody is sweating their tits off and we just got up! I mean, we can't really complain about the gorgeous sun while others are trying to beat traffic on their way to work in the rain if not the snow. But still, I would rather be diving than sitting outside in this unbearable heat. You know what would be great when it's this hot? If we had a party all day long on the beach where people could just throw water at each other to cool off. Oops, that's for the next big festival, Songkran, in two weeks time. Be there or be square!

More news on Canada's two wheeler mishap: he’s gone to get checked out in Samui today. It turns out he might have to go on four wheels from now on, the bad knee keeping him off bikes for a while. Well, Mr Thornton-Allan, if you ever have to ride a quad bike on the Rock, make sure you wear one of Rick’s famous “ATVs SUCK!” t-shirts if you don’t want to be mistaken for a tourist. But the true question is, will Yvonne agree to seen on the back of one of Koh Tao’s most shameful means of transportation?

Friday, March 28, 2008

Looks like Canada's had it easy while Yvonne was away. Don't know if it's the pressure from her being back but it seems as he lost some of his abilities. Riding a bike for instance. Another member for the Koh Tao injuries clinic!Today, he's walking with wooden crutches on each side of his body, a bandage on his knee and one on his foot. Slows you down a bit doesn't it ? But Yvonne won't take it and she's still screaming "come schatzi, faster, faster, let's go now!". Poor Canada's gonna have to ask for a few tips from our one legged captain Peak cos so far, he can't keep up the pace!

Tomorrow is our annual Koh Tao festival. This year, it will focus on protecting the environment and keeping our paradise clean. Eco-warrior Darren has once again raised an army of eco-soldiers to pick up the rubbish on our reefs. If you think the amount of beer left after a football night in an English pub is impressive, wait till you see how many Chang bottles the eco-army will pick up tomorrow. And that's just after a normal night for the boat crews mooring there everyday. And Sorry Jim, but the bottles are empty!

And after the hard eco-fight comes even more fun! Once again, the whole island is going to congregate to the festival ground for a great night of live music, dance shows, great food stands and maybe a few drinks... This year, the party's in Sairee. Close to Big Blue. Nice one! And there should be a few competitions. Unfortunately, our Welsh dragon will not be there to defend his title as Koh Tao's fastest chugger. Will Ally retain her title? Come down and see for yourself or find out on this webpage on Sunday!

Thursday 27th March 2008-

Well, you'll know better next time. Thats what my mom always used to say when I got sunburned. All these years later, I STILL havent learned that lesson. We instructors fight over who gets to staff the weekly 'Full Day Trip'. Its the only day of the week we can dive on Sail Rock, and we get a buffet of incredible thai food for lunch, and spend the long surface intervals hanging out on the top of the boat... in the scorching sun. Then we come back red and burnt, scratching our heads wondering how this happened. But it happens every time and we never learn. Don't tell our moms.

A big welcome back to Simon who's returned from Big Blue Khao Lak. He's been away for just 3 months, but already he's forgotten what time the ferries arrive and how to complete a check-in form. Luckily, G was more than happy to hold an impromptu refresher course for him this morning.

And Big Blue is now crawling with DiveMaster trainees. We've signed up 4 more in the past 48 hours for a total of 17!! And this current bunch seems wilder than the average DMT crew. The Instructors and staff DMs are fortifying their bunkers, fearing that the DMTs are planning a hostile takeover of the dive shop as they now far outnumber us.

Wednesday 26th 2008-

Its actually a little spooky! Yvonne has been away for the best part of a month & gets back today. Canada he's sooo o excited! About as excited as a 16 year old Swedish schoolboy! He's booked himself 4 days off, no one is allowed to call him & he is planning on spending the next 4 days alone with his Missus. Just the 2 of them. See what I mean by spooky! Poor Yvonne! 4 days alone with Canada confined to the bedroom. No means of communication with the outside world. No contact. No other companionship. Just 1 painted Canadian with the horn!

There's a rumour going around that Koh Tao is about to be graced by the presence of Royalty! Which Royal & from what country I have no idea! The last time I remember Royalty coming to Koh Tao was when Matt Le Blanc came here with about 20 of his mates for a snorkelling trip from Samui. He spent the whole way here throwing up on a speedboat. Then he was the only western guy in Mango Bay snorkelling with a life jacket on. He looked a right Gallah! Royal Ponce! And your Friends! (Except Jennifer- poor lost darling).

So, the Boy from the Valleys is returning home today for a wee break. Off to plunder the coal mines & make a few sheep nervous. I bet he's down the pub right now! Pint in one hand, 2 litre bottle of lemonade in the other! Rocking backwards & forwards to the tunes of the Welsh Boyo's Choir. Have a happy holiday Deano & don't forget to regale us with humourous Taffy anecdotes when ever you get time.

Monday March 24th 2008-

Cheers Scobby. That was a very entertaining evening & you were made to look a right plonker! Good going mate! Mind you not the only one me thinks! Who was that tall dark stranger that just got so carried away with the silly sauce that they were still at it at 4 in the morning when everyone else had gone home & they stumbled down to Bans Bar got even more sozzled fell over & then called in to work to say they got too big a hangover today & won't be in till tomorrow! Who could possibly get away with such preposterous behaviour?!

My most sincere chocolatey apologies people for not wishing you a Happy Easter yesterday. Happy Easter Danielle- nice to hear from you! I didn't even realise it was the Good Lords chocolate day yesterday! Its hard when you live on a tropical island just north of the equator with no Tesco or Sainsbury's to remind you to bite the heads off chocolate bunnies! Hope you all stuffed your faces! Who got the Easter egg with chocolate buttons? It's my favourite!

Why is it when people come back from diving & they have water in their ear canal they insist on leaning their head over to one side & then jumping up & down on one leg! It looks like some sort of Monty Python sketch. I have actually never tried it so I thought I'd give it a go the other day & see what happens! I was amazed by the results! I leant. I lept. & water gushed out of my nose! It was really quite unpleasant & my ear still had water in it. So I went back to my normal miracle method for clearing water from the ears. One large Chang please!
 

Sunday March 23rd 2008-

I knew today was going to be a good day but it also felt like something was missing last week & when I came into work I realised what it was. Mayhem & Destruction, Canadian Style! Canada & Mac are back from their Liveaboard cruise in the wake of the 2nd WW submarine the USS Hammerhead! & the first thing I was greeted with when I got into work today was the acid bath Canada had made for all the artifacts he has salvaged on their trip! Its actually a very impressive haul. He has china & glass with Japanese imprints from maybe 100 years ago. A really cool & original Kirin Beer bottle. He's lifted up the compass plate & housing, a porthole & a couple of ammunition shells one of which he has given me! Sitting on my desk right now. This time last week it had spent since 1945 sitting on the bottom of the sea & now its sitting here on my desk as a nice pen holder! Nice one boys. Really cool! Now that people is diving!

Coming to the end of an era here at Big Blue today. We are going to have a leaving do for Scobby tonight. He was just a boy when he first got to Koh Tao, but he'll be leaving as a man, though that long hair does confuse people! He's off to tie the knot with his former Open Water Student Jolien, in Holland & then they are off to that god forsaken country just north west of New Zealand where they have all those dangerous animals, drunken yobbos & silly long blonde hair.Think Scobby has probably taught more students than anyone at Big Blue & he's finally gonna call it a day. Off to settle down in coastal Scobbytown live like a retired Scuba Instructor while the Missus goes out & makes the cash! Sigh! Can't wait till I retire! Good luck Scobby & Jolien & here's to all the memories.

Well the Bar is looking really cool now! The boys have kind of built this entrance off the beach with like a big sort of entry gateway thing. Its looks very cool. And it looks like the names been changed back to the Blue Bar & they've painted everything blue now aswell. I like it! And it looks different to everyone else on the beach & it is obviously working cos the bar & restaurant now are packed every night! Good job Big Blues Blue Bar boys. I knew today was going to be a good day!

Saturday March 22nd 2008-

You may recall me mentioning the other day about Whalesharks! I said the crap viz was the beginning of Whale Shark season. Well lo & behold... They're here! & this particular Whale shark is the largest one I have ever heard of around Koh Tao! First reports are its a 7 meter one. Imagine taking a swim in the ocean & coming face to face with a 7 meter fish like that! In Thai its called a pla shalarm. Reckon that's cos the first Thai to see one underwater "Pla Shalarmed ' themselves!

A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle. For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.
However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside!

Felt like we had a very successful meeting with heaps of KT Dive shops the other night with regards to the Koh Tao Festival which is being held here in Sairee on the 29th March. Nice to see so many shops who care about the state of Koh Tao & are prepared to do something to manage the problems we face here on this little tropical island paradise. At the same time equally distressing to see so many of the 'Big' diveshops lack of interest or attendance! The smaller shops were all there in force, but some of the big ones were noticeably absent! Shame on you! I only got 1 word for you guys...'Improve!'

Thursday March 20th 2008-

I wonder where Canada & Mac are right now! I'm still jealous as hell! Being a big war buff, second world war wrecks fascinate me. & here these guys are following in the footsteps of a real warship wreaking havoc on all the ships it came upon. & what a great name for a war ship too. The Hammerhead! Wicked. I bet its a very emotional experience. I once dived off the beach at Normandy where the D-Day landings took place! That was an emotional experience for sure! Meanwhile weather at the moment is gorgeous aswell so I bet these guys are just having such a wonderful time eating, sleeping, diving, decompressing & telling stories all night. Knowing Canada I reckon it sounds like kids at school camp!

So the revellers are once more on their way to Koh Phangan to bey at the moon or whatever it is party people do at this time of the month. I beyed back at the millenium party but never went back to bey again! It wasn't like I didn't have a great night cos I did! I beyed like it was 1999. But I guess my old man gene has been kicking in since then & now when its Full Moon Party time I prefer to bey at the moon in my slippers & my dressing gown! Happy beying Party people!

There are heaps of things one really must do when they get to Koh Tao. Need less to say 1 of them is scuba diving. Another top activity is snorkeling. Then there's hiking over to the other side of the island, there's yoga, paintball, mini golf & an extremely original ten pin bowling lane. All of these things are great & you are highly encouraged to do them all while you holiday here in Koh Tao! But there a couple of things that tourists do which are also on offer here & are bad. Very bad. Don't jetski & don't drive quad bikes! You're all dangerous! None of us appreciate the noise you make, the hazards you create & the damage you cause! If you want to do all that crap then pardon mon francais mais ' Burger orf back to Samui! Vous aint wanted here!

Wednesday March 19th-

The French are credited with many great inventions, such as the bicycle, pasteurization, the barometer and, more recently, the 36-hour work week, but one cultural contribution that rarely makes it into the history books is sunbathing au naturel. G Does it all the time! Of course, the French were not the first people to frolic on the beach in a state of semi-undress--the Polynesians after all have been doing it for millennia. But what G & Celine did amongst others, was popularize it, to make it, as they make so many things... chic.

Jim came back from another one of his Samui runs yesterday. Sadly, he lost his phone in Samui and was so busy he didn't have time to go for his traditionnal happy meal at McDonald's in Chaweng. They are still thinking about renaming the place McDonaldson's as he remains one of the top customers. Nevertheless, he came back with a very big smile on his face, pleased to see that all the people on the Lomprayah who had bookings for diving had done them through the Big Blue website. The purpose of the trip was to prepare for the Big Day of his life. This time he managed to find a wedding dress and wedding rings! Geat going Jim, but what are you gonna wear? I'm not sure zunami boardies are suitable for mariages. Not to mention, it might not be so warm in April in the land of sheep and kiwis! Thought about getting a neoprene tux?

Tonight Big Blue will a count a new member in the long list of trained Divemasters. After 5 weeks of hard work, Mathias will decome a dive professional. Of course, that means we are going to have a challenge. It's all been kept secret so far but no doubt that our underwater Bavarian will remember this event, or not! Mathias was the one DMT to push the mentor/protege relationship between him and Darren to it's climax. He actually got himself Darren's world famous right leg "Hok Tao Diver" tatoo on the left leg. Had he got it on the right leg, we wouldn't be able to tell them apart. Ally, you can thank the tatoo artist for that! What's next? Mac and Tim, you have a long way to go before you can match the tatoos on Canada's body, hope that doesn't delay your certification!

Sunday 16th March 2008-

Had our first charter trip of the year today with a group of Scandy agents all hear to actually assesswhat all the fuss is about Koh Tao. You could see their look of scepticism as they got off the lomprayah & were greeted with the usual throng of Koh Tao taxi drivers. Then we stopped for a spot of breakfast at Koh Tao's leading breakfastry which is Zest & after a good feed & a nice chin wag you could see these guys beginning to let their hair down a little. & they then obviosly had a great time on their snorkelling adventure because by the time they came back they all looked thrilled! Kind of like they sat on something pointy! Very happy customers- good work Anna & Ross. & its beer o'clock now so I guess its my turn now & see how much more relaxed we can get them!

Sounds like our West side posse have been doing a little relaxing last night aswell. I spoke to our very sore headed Lord & leader this morning who tells me there was all sorts of fun & games to be had at the Happy Slapper last night in Khao Lak. Of course there aint no point in asking Sonia or Nyco what happened as they won't remember!

Now I wouldn't call myself stupid just cos I speak only 1 language. But if I spoke 2 does that make me clever? How about 3 or 4. Surely you'd be impressed with the size of my brain cells if you knew I spoke 5 languages! But how about 7 languages! Now that's got to be a large brain! I imagine the person who has the brain capacity to speak 7 languages to look like a huge head on a tiny body! Like a sputnik on a toothpick! So imagine my surprise when Panos introduced me to Hal a Norwegian who speaks Swedish, Danish, Norwegian, English, Dutch, German & Spanish! & he has a normal size head! He also has almost as many tattoos as Canada! Speak 7 languages! Thats ridiculous! I reckon he's got them all tattooed on to his body instead! More like read 7 languages! Welcome Hal ! Nice to have some talent on the team at last! We've all been blagging this way too long!

Saturday 15th March 2008-

Ok People! Listen up! Its that time of the month when Rick puts up his hammock for rent! Koh Tao is really busy! The weather is very sunny now, the diving is great we are about to get whalesharks- (mark my words!) but the rooms are running out really fast! We are now Jam packed!! I must have spent 6 hours today wandering up & down Sairee beach from 1 resort to the next trying to help guys get rooms. Now I'm pretty good at this so everyone has been accommodated but its getting harder & don't forget next week is the Koh Phangan Full Moon Party so after that I guarantee there will be people walking up & down the beach looking for rooms at night! Goodluck those people! I'm hoping it won't be any of you guys. I'm hoping you guys are smarter than that & refer to our accommodation page on our website & book some rooms over the internet before you get here. Surely thats got to be better than having to pay through the teeth for Rick's Hammock!

So tomorrow Canada & Mac are off for a 1 week liveaboard trip. Its actually a very very cool trip & most of us are jealous as hell! These guys are off to retrace the steps of some awesome US warship called the Hammerhead that basically cruised the Gulf shooting & sinking vessels when ever they crossed! They are off for a week of some pretty gruelling diving, some fairly murky depths, & some pretty funky yarns! Good on you boys! Hope you have a great trip & find some more wrecks & do some awesome diving! These boys are gonna pull the chicks when they get back! ( Only joking Yvonne!)

Friday 14th March 2008

Ooh it feels a long time since I let my literary jabber flow! Would like to thank our guest writers this week- that'd be G & Deano. Great bit of scriptive ramblings from the Frenchman & an equally twisted twaddle of nonsense from the Welshman! You see I got to get all the Instructors ready to take over the massive time wasting jobs I create for myself everyday as I'm off in a couple of weeks to get hitched! So far the boys have done well. A right pair of Nom de Plums!

Want to give a big ecological shout out to our brothers & sisters over there on the West Side! They did an excellent job this week of cleaning up the rubbish on the Similan Islands. Always good to see the dive community taking an active part in rubbish collecting. Just such a shame there is so much of it. & who the hell is it dropping all the rubbish in the seas? Its not the divers, its not the tourists, I don't believe its the locals or the boats either though I'm sure they make the odd hiccup. So who the hell is the messy bastard dropping all the rubbish everywhere? Is it you?

I can't believe what an incredibly easy idea that was! You get a mask & stick a camera on it & then flog it as an Underwater Digital Camera Mask for enough money that you'll never need to work another day for the rest of your life! Genius! Its amazing how the blindingly obvious can be so well hidden! ANd after seeing Ricks, underwater wrist camera & the new underwater MP3 player, the underwater car, I've become inspired. I'm going to make an underwater Restaurant! Doh!

Wednesday 12th March

For those of you who thought that football was the only sport smeared by hooligans, you're in for a surprise! Our very own huge DMT Olaf just discovered that it's not always safe to hang out around volleyball courts after hours. He came in today with a damaged bike and black eye after a strange encounter with a drunken supporter from an other team. Go Big Blue Ballz!!! If you've seen Olaf before, you would know he is nothing like a black-eyed pea as he is about twice the size of anybody else on this island. Needless to say, he was more than able to stop the sucker!

And here comes our latest DMT, Jan. He's Dutch, lives about 5 minutes away from Olaf in Holland and he's even bigger! I say, if instead of poncy beach sports such as volleyball, we start playing real sports like rugby or ultimate fighting, we have an ever better chance! Welcome Jan, get ready for a lot of serious fun in and out of the water!

The weather's been kind of weird these days. Imagine you set off for a relaxing Chumphon Pinnacle afternoon dive, the sun is shining, the birds are singing and the boats are sailing sweet. Well, you might not expect the heavy rain and the massive waves when you surface from your fantastic dive. My advice: hold on to the ladder before you remove your fins. Like I said earlier, Koh Tao is full of surprises. And make sure you don't pick the wrong day to do your laundry!

Tuesday 11th March

We made it, to the final that is but our other finalist who are semi professionals just pipped us to the post the number one spot. Big Blue Ballz gave it all they got and had tremendous support all night and came away with a great prize thanks to Tim, Charlie and Jeff at Good Time Adventures.

Congatulations to our newest DM's at Big Blue, Olga, David and Karl for their great DM challenge and dressing up as pirates from the caribbean. As always, we all got on the BB bar for the final dance with these guys to show them how the baywatch pose should be done.

So Jim decided to take a day off to samui in light of his ever growing hunger of a quarter pounder with cheese washed down with a dose of popcorn at the movies. Good job indeed cause the white dress he bought for his upcoming wedding, needs to be a comfortable fit for his big day!!

Well done to our new team member Church on becoming part of the BB family. We are happy to say that he won't be doing anymore Lord of the Rings films due to his new commitments of shop duty with Dan and Didi!! Yippee do!
 

Monday 10th March

Wohoo! So the sun has got his hat on again, hip hip hip hooray!! Sunny day on Sairee beach and the morning crowds of customers flocked through the BB resort.

So Mr Buckland has ordered some tech equipment that he still doesn't know how to use it though think Canada will get to them 1st. Twin tank bands for twin something else. Think he just wants to be hugging the fishes a little bit longer until his missus calls him up for a tasty baby rack of ribs to devour!! Let the race begin, 3-2-1 go go go

So team Big Blue Ballz have entered Koh Tao's 1st volleyball tournament at Moov on sairee beach. They are getting dreesed up Top Gun style being lead by our Thai Maverick 'Tor' to bring the trophy to BB.

And last but not least, congratulations to Canada on becoming a fresh new DSAT Tech Instructor today.

Sunday 9th March 2008

So again we all wake up to the pitter patter of falling rain drops. Even more bad news as our little leprichaun friends and the English ponces get a stuffing by the triple crown kings of '08 and our celtic friends from the north. Only thing now is for the Welsh sheep shaggers to nip to 7-11 and buy some extra freshmint gum to keep the garlic influence at bay.

Party, Party, Party is P'nen's favourite words lately as he ponces around the BB resort looking for our well missed Sonia as she is all BAAAAA!!! He is alll happy and cheery as everyday he looks more like 'The King Of Soul' himself Mr James Brown, nothing like living in america eh P'Nen, he's got the moves just not the words, volunteer anyone??

Nice one livvey, our fresh new swedish DMT of March '08 is Ricky's very own water baby as he now takes her on a guided tour for the next 2 months, nice one brother!!

Saturday 8th March 2008-

In our ever incessant effort to please our fundivers we took the boat around to the East side of the island thismorning! It was actually very exciting as it has been a while since we saw the East Side Massive. The regular turtle sitings & the soft corals & awesome trenches of Hin Wong Pinnacle do make this one of the best sites in Koh Tao. Not today however! Today it was like swimming through muck!

It's been bothering me all morning. I got an email from someone slating me for making an effort to clear up the beach of rubbish! Its been bothering me cos I just don't quite understand what exactly he is getting at. He says he used to be here & he would have to pick up rubbish every morning on his walk down the beach! So if he did it what exactly is he having a go at me for? Would you rather we did nothing & left it there? Sorry mate but you really have confused me!

Gotta take our hats off to ACE Marine VDO camera girl Sonia for her spectacular round with 'Rocky' the Titan Trigger at Green Rock yesterday! Now the Titan trigger is a very territorial fish especially when its nesting & Green Rock isn't a typical site to be seeing nesting Titans! So I think Sonia was a little surprised when she got triggered yesterday. Great recorded action shot of a 3 foot long trigger charging & then careening off with part of Sonia's camera!Nice one Sonia! Nice one Rocky!

Friday 7th March 2008-

If a tall Frenchman came prancing into your office & says 'I've broken my sausage!' What would you do? I immediatley rushed for the tiny splinter we used when Matthias plucked his banjo but it was all in vein! Thankfully our Onion Master hasn't broken his sausage. He's only gone & blown it up! What an inflated penis!

Well pull my papillas' & call me Pamela! Its pissing it down today! Totally unexpected. The laundry was left out, the restaurant pillows are wet, & there appears to be another leak in the kitchen. All good clean aquatropical fun! Not sure todays arriving customers saw it quite that way!

So people if you want to be a part of history & have a story to tell your Grand kids then you better be here by Thursday 29th March for this years spectacular Koh Tao Festival. Last year we had Darren & Heather representing us as Mr & Mrs Koh Tao.We also had Ally & Deano representing us for the quickest male & female drinker award. Ally won both! & then we had a foam party. G showed us how to breakdance. This year as I have something to do with organising it we are going to have a big dance stage with big cages hanging from trees with bikini clad women dancing inside! There'll be free alcohol, Fatboy slim will be playing & there'll be at least one member of the opposite sex for everybody! (Sorry Dan!) I still have to get it all approved by the island elders which will of course never happen but it was nice to fantasize!  

Thursday 6th March 2008-

I feel there's a void in my life! I got all the Instructors doing their thing, I've increased our DM team to accommodate our customer demand, I got 2 girls in the shop full time, I now also have a full time accountant, another taxi driver & less dogs around the resort to fall over. I have now created so much time for myself that I've only gone & volunteered ourselves to coordinate & organise this Years beach clean up for the Koh Tao Festival on Sairee Beach! Its going to be a blast! I've got every diveshop in Sairee involved & we're going to get every customer we got involved! Lets clean this Rock up people. I got time! You do it!

Ever had one of those landlords that just won't leave you alone? Worse thing, is if it hadn't been for Canada's interior house renovating blitz when he first moved in as my neighbour, I wouldn't be having this problem now he's moved out! Bloody neighbours! If its not the rampant cries of lust & yearning from above, its the incessant incoherent babbling of abuse of neighbours & colleagues Landlords! Ruddy pseudo Canadians!

So it is true! I was in the paper! Front page too! Apparently it was a photo of someone else but it had my name & my quotes. I can't actually recall what I said now when I read it as I was so disappointed it wasn't me in the photo. But then I heard the paper only had one photo of me & that was the one they lifted off the website with me in my neoprene sex suit! Guess I should be happy Thailand thinks I look thin & brown with a long flowing flock of golden bleach blonde hair! Mighty Ponce!


Wednesday 5th March 2008

Do you know the things I love about living on Koh Tao…? It’s the little things like the friendly people, the loverly weather, the bikini clad maidens walking on the beach and the power cuts in the morning when you’ve woken up early with your girlfriend because she’s gone diving and you decide to watch a movie. Which promptly stops because the sodding power (which, I must add, we DO take for granted!) cuts out! Aaarrgghhh!!
Anyway, I’ll get off my soap box now….

Yesterday we held a training day for six of our DMT’s which involved a morning session of that cinematic masterpiece, the “PADI Divemaster Video”.
Wow. Truly a great bit of work. The poncy eighties haircuts, the brightly coloured wetsuits and tanks…..! Brilliant.
Then we took them to Japanese Gardens to do skill circuit practice! Not bad for a first attempt I thought. After that we had them running around Banzai like blue arsed flies showing them all the jobs they should be doing instead of the usual sunbathing and picking their noses like they thought they were here to do! Heh heh! Nice wake up call!
Seriously though, we’re only interested in turning out the most highly trained divers here at Big Blue. Make us proud DMT’s!!

Last night one of our Japanese trainee’s crossed over to the dark side and became a fully fledged Divemaster. Brilliant! Well done Daishi! Or Omedetou Daishi!! (in Japanese). Sayonara!

Tuesday 4th March 2008-

Sometimes I think some people get all the luck. Who am I talking about? The happy fundivers and Celine's advanced students gone off to Chumphon Pinnacle this afternoon. No other boats and sharks galore! Last time I went diving there after lunch I swam with the most impressive amount of reef sharks I'd ever encountered. Not to mention the whaleshark that nearly bumped into me. Seriously, some of these big fish really need to see their ophtalmologist more often. Their next stop will be White Rock and it looks like there's a turtle who's made that dive site his home base. Grab your torch and look under the boulders, he likes to hide!

If you think that's not good enough for you, catch this: wreck Wedenesday on a Tuesday, I dreamed of it, Canada did it! Once again, he's taken a bunch of sunken ship thirsty DMTs and fundivers to explore the lost vessels of the Gulf. Tully and Mac, the mini-Canadas as we call them here, are part the trip as usual. Hey Canada, don't forget to tidy your new house before Yvonne gets back! Given your capabilities as a housekeeper at Big Blue, I doubt it will be problem. And try not to wreck any of her belongings!

Congratulations to Daichi, Big Blue Chaba's newest divemaster. Challenge tonite! Let's see what kind of silly humiliating activities our Japanese staff have prepared for him. It's at 9PM in our favorite Beach Bar, come down if you want to have a laugh and a few drinks. But don't wear anything too nice, you never know what's going to happen... Nobody like wasabi stains on a white shirt!

Monday 3rd March 2008-

Well the hurricane of people that came to the island seems to have died down a bit now. For the first time in what seems like at least a couple of weeks there are rooms available again on Sairee Beach. So Rick has taken down his piece of beach front real estate- the hammock- to have it cleaned in preparation for next months whirlwind of revellers! So come on over people there's plenty of room at Rick's now.

The viz apparently is outstanding at the moment. There's heaps of fishies, 20+ meter visibility, the divesites are less crowded & the sun has got his hat on. Unfortunatley the sun took a day off yesterday. I didn't really mind but I'm not sure the divers on our full day trip were too impressed. The diving was good, I was told, but the weather was pants!

Thanks Canada for putting that wonderful photo of me in a wetsuit on Facebook! Have you not been reading the news & watching the documentaries! Apparently Facebook is all about getting information on people & using it to screw them up in later life! So now for the rest of my life I'm going to be living in fear that the CIA or PADI Police might charge down my door & have me arrested for some underground form of neoprene bondage! Just so pleased they haven't seen the one you took of me with a tank banger in my mouth!

Saturday 1st March 2008-

You'd think when a creature as big as a house swims past you in the sea there'd be a little more commotion. The problem in Koh Tao these days seems to be that the Whaleshark is here so often now that people get used to it & would rather see something else. Checking out the goby & the goby shrimp, the size of half a pencil each, at Mango Bay seems to be more rewarding for some of our guests who've been diving with us a while, than looking for the Whale Shark. Its like checking out a chicken when its standing next to an elephant!

Very happy to be welcoming another member to the Big Blue Team & that is Divemaster Dan. Dan has done a lot of training with us & has proved himself to be quite the stud when doing his DSD's! He is ridiculously good looking, and yet still finds time to tear himself & his hair away from the mirror & do his job properly. Lately he has had to tear himself away from a 'couple of things' in order to show up at work on time. Eh Tiger!

So despite the fact that Koh Tao has been very busy, & that we haven't actually been able to book a room on Sairee Beach for the better part of a week now there isn't too much to report on. Divers are diving, Instructors are instructing, students are studyng. Its all very hum drum really. Though having said that I did spot a new breed of bikini the other day which was nice. Thanks for that young lady!

Friday 29th February 2008-

Reckon it would be nice if we all put our hands together to congratulate Big Blue Diving's first Tech certified divers! So in a cacophany of ecoustics & fanfare congratulations Mac & Tully! These guys are now on the path to exceeding depths greater than 70 meters. That my friends is the equivalent depth or size of a 25 storey building! Its dark, dirty & very eerie! Canada lives there! And in the world of diving you've achieved a benchmark boys. Imagine diving 25 storeys only to find you can't see anything! Good work Canada & Congratulations Mac & Tully.

My computer doesn't go ping when I want it to. So when you ask me a question in our chat window I don't hear Ping when I'm supposed to. So apologies for those partial pauses people. Please be patient. My Ping will be programmed in presently.

Water clarity is very good at the moment. The troops returned from their morning dive full of the joys of spring having seen another species of shark today at Chumphon Pinnacle. Frequent shark visitors to Chumphon Pinnacle include the Whale Shark, the Grey Reef Shark, & Bull Sharks! & we do get them but not very often & that is the Black Tip Reef Shark. You are way more likely to see them snorkelling at the south of the island than diving out at Chumpers but there we go. Nice Find DM's- Don't forget to let the air out of her & put it back with the other inflatable fish when you've finished with her!

Thursday 28th February 2008-

So the big news in Thailand today is that Thaksin Shinawatra, the formerly ousted Prime Minister is back! He will now answer in court to the allegations of corruption. Now I have no idea if he's guilty or not & nor does any of this make any difference to anything you'd notice on your holiday to Thailand. But I do know that since he was given the old heave ho, he went & bought a Premier League Football Club, Manchester City, & introduced the world to the wonders of Chang beer. C'mon how corrupt could he be? He can't be that bad!

There's a new toy I want which I've now put on my Birthday wishlist. I'm actually feeling a little nostalgic actually as I put it on my Birthday wishlist in 1977 aswell! The underwater car in James Bond- the spy who loved me. Its what every man dreams to have & every woman dreams to have after she's got all the things she wants. Of course in 1977 it was kiddy sized. Now its adult sized & I really want one!

I'm not a religious man but today I witnessed the Second coming! Well kind of. Thomas, our German Jesus lookalike is back. He fogot the white nightgown & the sandals but otherwise he looks exactly like he did last time I went to church!

Wednesday 27th February 2008-

Now if you go to our Contact Us page on our website you will notice a brand new, very cool addition to the site. Its our online chat window! You can sit there wherever you are & can ask me anything you would like to! Isn't that groovy! I am of course hoping the sort of questions I get asked will be diving or at least Koh Tao related. Not sure this is going to work too well tho, if people keep wanting to know what clothes I'm wearing & if I like opera!

Its pretty busy again in Koh Tao people. If you are on your way over I really would encourage you to at least book your accommodation ahead of time. Last night we were still looking for rooms for people at 7pm. & of course at that time of night don't be surprised if suddenly the room prices double because the hoteliers know you are in a pretty desperate position if you still haven't got a room by 7pm. Look at Rick! Yesterday morning he had a hammock on his balconey available for rent at 100 bt. By Lunchtime, as rooms became less available he upped his hammock rent to 500 Bt. Then by 7pm last night he was in a sellers market & increased his price again to 1000 Bt. Of course he still wasn't able to rent it out tho, as it was a drastically over priced piece of real estate, but good fun to talk about with potential tennants!

Very successful Full Day Trip to Sail Rock yesterday. Glorious sunshine. Best viz there for ages & about 20+ meters in some areas, & in case you didn't know Sail Rock is probably the best divesite we have in the Gulf of Thailand. So great dive site, great viz, & great sunshine! Must have been a great day till you got back & realised how sunburnt you were eh Dan?

Tuesday 26th February 2008

The rain came did its business & left! All rather anti climactic, but the plants look better! Annoying thing with the rain is it tends to fill up all the pot holes with water so they just look like patches of unlevelled road. These innocuous little patches become deep wells everytime I drive my bike over them. & the annoying thing is that after driving these roads this bloody long I really should know that by now!

Nice to hear from so many of you on our Facebook Group. Sounds like you are all well & have had an enjoyable experience with us in Koh Tao. I also hope you know that we have all had an enjoyable time you guys being here. Just don't go & spoil it by coming back! Ony kidding Charlie! It will be great to see you mate, just leave your scottish dress at home!

Hmmm. I'm hearing rumours that the Full Moon Party boat which ferries people from Koh Tao to Phangan & back, partied alittle too hard & forgot to come back to Koh Tao. Apparently it ended up in Samui. When first I heard I was a little bit concerned by it as I reckoned the Captain & his boys must have partied a little too hard. But then I realised why they had to go Samui first! McDonalds run! Everyone's crazy for a McD's after a big party!

Sunday 24th February 2008
Now I've never been to Manchester but I reckon when I look up at the sky today it looks like what I reckon Manchester looks like! Wet & dark! Apparently we are in for 19 mm of rain today! That's alot! Its a good thing too people! We haven't had any rain since the last time we had rain and then we flooded! There's alot of flowers around here that look like they could do with 19mm of water!

Its reef check day today! Darren & his team of tough looking eco warriors are off to Japanese Gardens to check, photograph, record & report on the state of the corals! We'll be focusing on colors, breakages, regrowth & regeneration, fish life & water temperature. The idea is once a month we check out the same area & see if there has been any noticeable changes. Today will be the first recorded entry of the area & we hope to continue the project for many years to come. Darren will be an old man by the time he's finished this little project!

I think the saying goes- if it aint broke don't fix it! Well I've only gone & put these little boxes down the side of our web page & funnily enough since I've done it our emails have dropped right down! Either that or people have heard Alex aint doing the emails anymore! I'm confused. Anyhow the amount of internet bookings we got so far this month is more than the total number of bookings we got last year in the 3 busiest months! Not bad eh? So why did I go & try & fix the bloody thing with these boxes! Muppet!

Saturday 23rd February 2008
I have yet to find out if I actually have been a target on some gotcha tv or radio show, but yesterday I got interviewed by the Nation newspaper, one of Thailand's largest English newspapers to discuss what we are getting involved in at Big Blue with regards our environmental efforts to clean up Koh Tao. AS you may or may not know we like to pick up rubbish here at Big Blue in an effort to rid the island of plastic bags, polystyrene & other non eco friendly waste products.'I said 'We are all Saints & that the stairway to heaven will have lots of gold & glitter everywhere!" He thought I said 'the 7 11 has made pots of gold & littered everywhere!" Hmm,! I couldn't have put it better myself!

Wow! Ricky has been Divemastering here for way over a year already & I think yesterday was the first time he has had a day off with his Missus together! Aww sweet! Hope you had a nice day mate. Did you get breakfast in bed? Your feet scrubbed & your back rubbed? Lunch out? Afternoon walking the dogs along the beach? A cocktail at sunset then a dinner & a movie? Ponce! Get back to work!

Do you remember that DM we used to have here. Brummie, rugby playing bouncer who reckoned she could have us all in a fair tussle then went & dislocated her shoulder in a strong breeze! Sonia that's right! Well I've just heard from the Horse's mouth (sorry Sonia) that Thailands' premier diving Doctor, Doctor Luba has given her the all clear to dive again. That's great news! Well it is for Khao Lak! For us in Koh Tao it means she'll be coming back soon! You bastard Luba, I thought you were my friend!

Friday 22nd February 2008-
Got some extremely sad news I'm afraid. Alex & Lucy are leaving & going back to England! Massive shame. Thanks Alex for all you have done for Big Blue & a special thanks from me for answering all those emails everyday! We shall all miss you, well the others will miss you. I won't have time to miss you! I'll be too bloody busy answering all the emails! Good luck guys.

Guys, I got a limp sausage! Who broke Sausage's leg. Poor little Chippalata. She looks ridiculous not to mention the pain she must be in. That's got to hurt! Luckily our Dogmaster Rick was around to alert the emergency services who will be over shortly to set her leg & bind it to a stick & then put her in a plaster cast. Yummm, who wants ketchup & mustard with their sausage on a stick!

Well if I'm going to give you 2 pieces of bad news in one day I may aswell go the whole hog & fill you in on a third bit of unfortunate drama. The viz has gone to shit!
But don't worry its Full Moon tonight. Thats all we need - one good tidal current will swoop it all away. This time tomorrow you'll be able to see so far we might even find the lost city of Atlantis at last!

Wednesday 20th February 2008-

Rumour has it that yesterday at Shark Island there was a mother whaleshark measuring 7 meters swimming next to her calf reportedly only 1 meter long. Hmmm. That made me think. If a whale shark can measure upto 20 meters as an adult then a 1 meter whaleshark must be a new born! Awesome! Camera's at the ready people. This shot could be worth something!

You may recall a few weeks ago me harping on about the dog problem we were having here at the resort. You'll remember we rounded them up & sent them out ParcelForce to a few difficult customers who we've had in the past. Those we kept- Uri, Ugly & Sausage are now all sporting their very own 'Big Blue Dog' Collars as donated by our Instructors. Very swish! First time Ugly & Sausage have ever worn a dog collar. Makes even Ugly look quite Dapper!

Its that time of the month when everyone deserts Koh Tao to head off for the Full Moon Party at Koh Phangan. 15,000 people all on one beach moving & swaying to the beats of techno & trance! Just not my cup of tea! Gimme a third the number of people, same beach, lots of pretty girls, some Duran Duran & a plethora of terrible haircuts. Now that's more my scene!

Tuesday 19th February 2008-

Its Official Big Blue is now big on Green! So much so that we have even been granted the Green Light! In other words Big Blue is the latest PADI dive centre to be awarded with Project AWARE Go ECO Operator status in 2008. Nice one people! Well done Darren! This means we are taking a determined stand to minimise the impact we have on the aquatic ecosystem whilst contributing to environmental, economic and cultural conservation- It's Big Green Diving Resort now!

Oi you! Whoever you are outside Aukotan yesterday about 3pm who nicked my bloody shoes! Give them back! Yours smell & I can't wear them! Make me walk like a Ponce!

Weather at present is pretty much the same as it has been for a while now! Bright & sunny! I can prove it too. The one day I go out on the boat I go beetroot red & now 3 or 4 days later my face looks like someone has been trying to rub me out! I got eraser poo all over my forehead my nose & the back of my neck! Remember everyone avoid peeling! Slip, slop, slap!

Monday 18th February 2008-